Recently, someone very close to me experienced the loss of a close friend in death. Actually the loss deeply touched everyone in my family. It was tragic, a result of bad choices in the young persons life. Now, my family member is angry, frustrated, and claims to have a “beef with God.”
It's easy to blame God when things go wrong, much easier than taking responsibility for our own mistakes. When bad things happen to others, we often look at the situation, wanting God to step in, rework the circumstances and choices and prevent a tragic outcome. Life is far from perfect, and sometimes we have to deal with tragedies and disappointments that we don't understand. Sometimes that leads us to blame God for the things that go wrong in our lives.
I believe there is nothing more dangerous to a Christian than to carry around a resentment against God. I am shocked by the growing number of believers of all ages who are peeved at the Lord. They may not admit as much, but deep inside, they hold some kind of grudge against him. Why? They believe he's not interested in their lives or problems! They're convinced he doesn't care, because he hasn't answered a particular prayer or acted on their behalf in a certain way. Some who know God and profess to be Christians, just can’t get past the idea that when they became a believer, God was going to shield them from pain and suffering.
If you are one who may be angry at God, harboring resentment towards Him, you need to step back from your feelings, from the situation and look at the big picture. Where do you start?
I know this won’t be easy... but you have to take personal responsibility for what you create every day in your life. God is not doing anything to you to cause you sadness, pain and suffering. He does not manipulate life’s situations to harass and plunge you into fear and anxiety. He does not place temptations and sinful pursuits in your path to cause you to stumble into sin.
It is we who have chosen to become addicted to drugs, alcohol, toxic relationships, financial debt, or live a listless life that leads to homelessness. We create by our decisions and choices the content of our lives. Often we have co-created our circumstances with another person close to us. Bad choices just can’t produce good results, but we don’t want to admit we made a mistake. We want to play the victim. We want to blame someone else. At some point in our lives we have to admit that we played the staring role in creating a messed up life.
God provides for us every day of the year. He makes all aspects of our life possible. He provides the job, the shelter, the finances, our life partner, the family, and the friends that we have. Here’s what we don’t like and often refuse to accept responsibility for... We get to choose what we do with what He has given to us. We can make good choices or bad ones. God will not interfere with our choices or how we create our life path.
The mirror view of ourselves can be an ugly experience. The person who looks back is not always so attractive. We choose to hold on to grudges without forgiving one another... grudges grow into bitterness over time. Our pride inhibits our willingness to accept what we believe are deficiencies within ourselves. We try to control, manipulate and lie, to steer situations to our favor, in the direction we want our lives to go. We tend to be selfish, more than unselfish, giving and caring of others. We want to have it all, but never do the work on ourselves to have a healthy relationship with God and others. We don't want to look at ourselves, or how we affect a situation or the circumstances around us. “It’s not me, it’s not my fault.” We don't want to look at the attitude we have in the moment, or change our perception, or even admit we can be totally wrong about another person, or God. We create ideas in our head about who God is, what He does, and why He ignores the tragic events of humanity... because doing so gives us a sense of control and peace of mind that nothing in this world could possibly be a result of our flawed choices. We would rather lie to ourselves than admit we have anything to do with how the life we are living is created by our own decisions. Every negative thought we encounter we hold on to and insist on it as truth.
So you have a beef with God, what can you do to overcome those feelings? Three suggestions: First, you need to admit to yourself what you already know deep inside... God is always and only good, no matter how strange and painful his ways with us may seem. Anger towards God is never a good thing. Anger toward God signifies that you think he is bad, weak, manipulative, cruel, angry and outright foolish. None of these are true, and all such thoughts in your mind dishonor him. Therefore it is never right to be angry at God. When Jonah and Job were angry with God, Jonah was rebuked by God (Jonah 4:9) and Job repented in dust and ashes (Job 42:6).
Secondly, people stumble over the idea that God really does things that ought to make us angry with Him. Hear me well... as painful as His providence can be, we should trust that he is good, and not get angry with him. Don’t construct your view of God by the standards of evaluation used by imperfect humans. For example, you might rightfully be angry at a surgeon who performs open heart surgery, saves your life, but made a few mistakes in the procedure. It’s reasonable to expect that even a well trained surgeon could error and make a mistake, because he’s human. God is perfect, infallible, cannot lie or deceive. God in his essence is pure love. God never makes a mistake. Why do you have such a hard time trusting Him?
Third and final suggestion... to know him, is to love and trust him. Maybe you don’t know him like you think you do. Maybe it’s time to go beyond your self-generated views of who you think God is and find out who He really is. He reveals himself in honest and frank detail through His revelation to humankind... the Bible. Open you heart, clear your mind of your prejudicial views and look a little deeper. Discover His holiness and righteousness, His character and nature and His abounding love. It will take commitment, study, prayer and contemplation to know Him deeply... it’s well worth the effort.
Whatever beef you have with God, frustrated because bad things happen to good people, you need to recognize that you are the architect of your life. We all make the choices and decisions that define our path. Good choices are better than bad ones, but even good choices are no guarantee of a life without pain and suffering in a fallen sin-filled world.
God is as saddened by the plight of humanity as we are when we personally experience tragedy and loss. That’s why he sent his only son to restore us, to save us from pain and suffering. (John 3:16) I know, you long for the day when he will fix all that he has promised to fix. Trust God, when he’s ready he will return and make all things new and grand. Live your life in harmony with God’s great love, don’t be angry with Him, and you can look forward to that day when there will be no more tears, no more pain, no more sadness, no more death. (Revelation 21:3,4)
May God comfort you and bless you this day and always as you seek Him.
