Are You a "Do Something" Church?

As you read this article, think about the community where you live. Think about the people, all kinds of people with a wide variety of circumstances and situations. There are kids in foster care (not far from your ministry center–building) who are desperately in need of an adult mentor. Sixty percent of the convalescent home residents in your community and neighboring communities sit alone and will never get a visitor before they die.

At the same time these people are suffering, there are “Christians” in your church family who continue to wonder what they should be doing... “what does God want me to do, what am I qualified to do?” These same folks have the time and resources to make a difference, but for some reason they’re stuck at the starting gate... doing nothing while the serious needs of people, downtrodden and victimized, are going unmet all around them.

Jesus said in John 14:12, “Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do he will do also; and greater works than these he will do, because I go to My Father.”

God is challenging us to believe in Him, to do big things in this world, big things that will undoubtedly involve caring for people who are hurting. Can you imagine if there was a consistent influx of fresh ministry ideas coming from your congregation's members to help those in your community? These needs combined with the “people resource” available in your congregation and the biblical mandate to address that need is enough to bring about a substantial change. (Matthew 28:19-20; James 1:27)

Imagine if people in your congregation were initiating contact with community agencies, building positive relationships, and securing partnerships for fresh new approached to outreach ministry. Mission work does not have to expensive, or involve travel to far off foreign lands to serve the needs of hurting people. Outreach should first be local, targeted, and focused on our own communities. That’s what Jesus said... and we ought to listen carefully to His vision of how the gospel would be proclaimed (Acts 1:8).

Imagine if visitors were coming to your church, not only to check you out, but to experience more of the love they consistently receive from your congregation’s members as a result of outreach... caring for those in need.

The goal of every assembly of believers is to find ways to mobilize, to motivate one another, to get out and do something about meeting the practical everyday needs of people in your community.

Our mission is simple... we need to act like the “Church” we are, instead of just going to a place we call church. We need to act like the people of God–doing, caring, serving, meeting needs whenever possible and wherever we can.

Don’t say you can’t do it, or you don’t have enough “people” resources to develop outreach efforts. You do! God designed His "Church" to rely on volunteer-led ministries. Okay, what next? You pick up the phone and call the local cash-strapped social service agencies in your community who desperately need volunteer assistance and you partner with them. Local agencies cannot begin to address the needs in the community because most city’s have serious budget deficits. The local church family can fill these gaps. Get out there and do something that raises community awareness of who you are and who you represent... the Lord of Lords... Jesus Christ!

Are you convinced that there is a tremendous amount of firepower sitting in your congregation able to do the work? God has a plan to unleash this power and to do something God-honoring in your community. HE needs you to step up and accept the challenge and begin doing, not just watching... wondering... pondering... what should "we" be doing?

Act like Jesus... adopt his attitude of being ready to help whenever and wherever he could. Jesus was Prepared to do something, had a simple Purpose behind what He did, and did not let Pain [personal inconvenience] hinder Him. He also utilized the Holy Spirit’s Power and was fueled by a Passion to help “widows and orphans” and He never quit on people. (James 1:27)

We can assemble these same attributes and attitudes in our Christian walk in serving others. We are Prepared to do something (Eph 2:10) and have the same Purpose as Jesus: obeying God (1 John 5:3). We will experience Pain and a bit of discomfort, but it does not always have to hurt or inconvenience us; it can lead us to righteousness (Heb 12:11). We have the Holy Spirit’s Power available to us (Acts 1:8), and we will need to exercise Passion in order to do everything God has called us to do (Luke 9:62).

Jesus said of true believers in Matthew 7:16, “You will know them by their fruit.” If God can bring about practical change in our individual lives, why can’t we be used by HIM to bring about practical change and improvement in our communities?

Our greatest desire should be to see our congregations working in the streets, doing something about the pain and brokenness of unbelievers. We have the solution to life’s pain and suffering... it’s Jesus! Let us be the hands and feet of Jesus to those in our own communities.

In the end, we are not going to be held accountable for the size of the ministries we built. We will be judged on the size of the impact we made with those ministries. Ready... Set... GO... DO... SERVE!

Children Are a Blessing from God, Not an Inconvenience

Marriage was designed by the Creator to be a lasting, stable union where the intimacies and blessings of relationships can be safely and purposely enjoyed. A Godly marriage is one where children can grow and be nurtured in a stable environment to become useful and productive citizens in the secular community as well as life-long servants of the Living God.

One of the tragic consequence of the pervasive defilement of our God-given institution of marriage, is the widely accepted view that children are an inconvenience—even among married Christian couples. Children interfere with their preferred lifestyle and independence. Some parents openly declare that they "just can't wait" until their children are out of the house.

What a tragedy for humanity, not to appreciate the great blessing of children. God has an entirely different view. The Psalmist wrote these words under inspiration for our edification... Children are a heritage from the LORD,  offspring a reward from him. 
Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. (Psalm 127:3-5a, NIV).

There are not many people in twenty-first-century America with the Psalmist’s viewpoint on children. A modern interpretation might sound more like this... Children are a burden from the LORD,  offspring must be His way of oppressing us... As the source of endless work and continual aggravation, so are the children of one’s youth. Unhappy is the man who hears his neighbor ask, “Do all those kids belong to you?”

We can understand why people might feel that way. Many children are rebellious, disobedient, disrespectful, and unmannerly... not very pleasant to be around. It’s no wonder that some people have decided not to have any at all when they see the results in other highly stressed families. What has gone wrong? Where did we lose sight of God’s perspective?

Psalm 127:1 may provide us with a clue. “Unless the LORD builds the house,  the builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city,  the guards stand watch in vain.” Stable and successful families are built by God. He is the architect and the general contractor of the family arrangement. He has drawn the blueprint, and he wants to provide the direction and give the orders. All he needs are some laborers to work diligently with Him in designing a family. He needs husbands, wives and children who will study the blueprint provided in His Word, then follow his directions exactly and precisely. Any other process based on any other philosophy is going to result frustration and failure.

The basic problems in many families is simply this... a willful departure from God’s blueprint and a substitution of man-made philosophies for governing life. God is no longer the architect and builder. We are following instead the blueprint drawn up by psychiatrists, psychologists, modern educators, doctors, and even syndicated columnists who think themselves qualified by knowledge gained from books written by the aforementioned purveyors of worldly wisdom, to tell us how to raise our children. Much of the advice we get from these sources is good. But if some parts of a blueprint are good and other parts are faulty, the result is going to be a poorly built structure. The Bible is still the best textbook ever written with the best advice for managing all aspects of life, especially rearing children. We need to find out what it says and obey it. “Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain.”

It is somewhat gratifying to see an increasing alarm about the situation. Psychologists, Sociologists and others are warning people of the dangers of an unhappy home and are trying to offer advice that will help repair the damage. Will such efforts work? Not really. Unless people are willing to turn their hearts and homes over to the Lord, nothing will change. Listen to the Psalmist again. “Unless the LORD watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain.”

No ancient city was safe from attack no matter how thick its walls nor alert its guards unless God was protecting it. Likewise, no home and family is safe from the attack of Satan unless it has been consciously committed to the Lord, unless Dad and Mom have surrendered and submitted to letting God be central in the families affairs. God must be in charge, His Word must prevail above all other wisdom, if families are to weather the storms of raising children in a fallen world. The families where Jesus Christ reigns as Lord in the lives of every family member are homes that will tower above the rest in love, serenity, happiness, mutual concern for one another, and the ability to adjust to people, pressures and challenges from outside the home.

Some folks think there are other ways to produce a happy home. For example, Work, work, work, as hard as you can. Provide all the material things of this world for your children. Maybe that will make them happy. If Dad doesn’t make enough money to do it, Mom must go to work too.

Read on in Psalm 127:2... “In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat— for He grants sleep to those he loves.” The bread of sorrows is simply bread secured through toil and trouble. Food is essential for life, but God can provide it without taking fathers and mothers away from their children day and night to pursue that elusive and almighty dollar. God has no time for laziness. He blesses honest hard work, but He can supply the things we need without anxious efforts and ceaseless self-activity. God’s priorities are always perfectly harmonious and aligned with His purposes. Our priorities are rarely in harmony and often out of alignment with His plan for our families. The Psalmist says God provides for his beloved ones, literally, “in sleep.” The metaphor here being life lived in His will... brings a calm, restful, confident trust in Him. If you let Him, God will take of you and your family and all your needs. Might not always be what you want, but it will always be what you need.

Maybe you are well on your way down the precarious path of parenthood. When you look at your child, what do you see? A nerve-shattering machine, or a heritage, a glorious gift from the Lord? A house-wrecker, or a heritage, a glorious gift from the Lord? A work-maker, or a heritage, a glorious gift from the Lord? A source of embarrassment before your friends, or a heritage, a glorious gift from the Lord? A competitor for your spouse’s attention, or a heritage, a glorious gift from the Lord?

If you’ve experienced those feelings, maybe you need God to help you get your perspective straight. “Lord, help me see my children as a blessed gift from your gracious hand.” You may need to pray those or similar words many times a day for a long while, but it could be the beginning of some exciting new changes in your home, the gateway to genuine joy in your relationship with your children.

Children are much more sensitive to our attitudes toward them than we ever imagine. They learn to respond to us with the same sort of attitudes they’ve received from you. They act as they sense you are acting toward them, and that’s where most of their discipline problems begin. Oh, we love them, but they make so many demands on us that inconvenience and bother us. So our old natures rebel and we let them know in subtle little ways that they are a bother. What happens? Well, they become more of a bother. They won’t get much love and affection that way, but at least they’ll get attention, and that’s better than nothing. But they will grow up with hostilities, complexities, and resentments that defy description.

One day sooner than we think they’ll be gone, and you won’t remember the muddy shoes, the messy rooms, the embarrassing moments they caused you or the encroachments they made on your time. You’ll only remember the happy times you spent together. And you’ll wish there had been many more. There could have been if you had looked on them as a blessing from the Lord rather than a burden and a bother.

Children are not only a precious inheritance, they are also likened to arrows. There is a difference of opinion as to what this scriptural metaphor is intended to teach us. Arrows are a source of protection, and maybe the Psalmist was referring to the care and protection which children can give their parents in later years. But arrows, unlike swords, could go where the warrior himself could not reach. Such is the case with our children. From many a godly home arrows have reached to the ends of the earth, carrying the gospel message to sin-darkened hearts. They were like arrows in their Father’s [God’s hand] hand.

But arrows have to be made. They don’t just happen by accident and they won’t ever happen in a dysfunctional family. God gives us a child like a raw piece of wood, and asks us to shape him. So we whittle, sand, and polish, fashioning that stick into an arrow, straight and strong. Children are not just an inheritance, they are a sacred trust. God loans them to us for awhile to prepare them for His use. Remember, He is the great Potter and in our children, He allows us to work with Him in shaping our them into worthy vessels for His use.

Our children belong to God, and the sooner we acknowledge that, the more willing we will become in working with Him in the shaping process. One dramatic way of acknowledging it is to dedicate them to God. If they belong to him anyway, then let us decisively acknowledge that by consecrating them to his use for his glory just as Hannah and Elkanah did with their son, Samuel (1 Sam. 1:9-28). Let us promise God that with his help we will mold their young lives into the kind of people He wants them to be. Set up a life-long pattern of accountability to God where your children are concerned. Hold yourself to your commitment and God will bless you abundantly.

A husband and wife ought to give their child to God even before he is born. And they should pray together after the birth of the child, willingly dedicating themselves to train him as God’s Word directs. The most important thing you will ever do as a parent for your children, is to covenant with God to raise them as a sacred trust... arrows to be shaped for God’s glory and purpose.

Raising children is a serious responsibility. Almost any job you pursue requires some specialized training before you’re qualified to do the job. But for the most important business in life, the shaping of young lives for God’s glory, we seem to think we can get away without any training or help. Too many people have the erroneous assumption that being a good parent comes naturally. On the contrary, it takes a great deal of study and continuous attention to the assignment. But God’s guidebook is available, and you can search it daily for the parenting help needed. Learn what God has to say about being a better parent.

The last verse in Psalm 127, verse “Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court.” How many children constitute a full quiver? That may vary with each couple depending on how many children you want to have. It can be one, two or twelve.

My quiver is full at four really cool daughters, but yours is between you and the Lord. It isn’t clear in the verse exactly who will not be ashamed, the parents or the children. But in a Christ-governed home where God is the builder and parents are laboring for Him, neither the parents nor the children will be ashamed of each other. But Satan, the enemy of God’s people, will be subdued and God will thus be glorified.

Isn’t that what you desire for your family? Dedicate yourself and your children to God. Ask Him to help you view them as a precious inheritance, arrows to be shaped, lives to be molded. Ask him to keep your eyes on the potential rather than the problems and to give you the wisdom you need for the great task ahead.

Caring for one of God’s Greatest Gifts... our Children.

NOTICE: TODAY'S ARTICLE IS A LONG ONE, BUT YOU REALLY DO NEED TO READ IT... EVERY WORD OF IT.

The Bible says, therefore God speaks these words for our benefit...

Ephesians 6:4... Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Matthew 19:14... Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."

Psalm 127:3... – Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb is a reward.

Children! Grand Children! Great Grand Children! I must tell you, the older you get the more precious and exciting and really cool children are! (I'm a grandpa!)

Sadly, as you look around our world and in American society, that’s not always the case. There is a growing epidemic of tension and frustration between one or both parents and their children. There are a myriad of reasons for why parents act towards their children the way they do. None of the often touted “excuses” justify what is happening to the countless innocent children abused and mistreated by parents who themselves were once abused and mistreated.

Attitudes today, embraced by many parents, stemming from feminism and liberalism have given birth to ideas that children are a curse, a burden, a bother, a chore, an inconvenience, an intrusion and all around undesirable. Children, we are taught – whether we realize it or not – intrude upon our personal freedoms. They infringe on our rights over our own lives, our time and even our own bodies.

We are all products of our parental upbringing. The way we were raised shapes our adult attitudes and actions, whether we want to acknowledge that reality or not, it’s true.

Read and hear with your heart the words of this poem written half a century ago...

Children Learn What They Live
If a child lives with criticism, He learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility, He learns to fight.
If a child lives with shame, He learns to be shy.
If a child lives with tolerance, He learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement, He learns confidence.
If a child lives with praise, He learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness, He learns justice.
If a child lives with security, He learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval, He learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, He learns to find love in the world.
© Dorothy Law Nolte, 1954

Some parents blame their kids for all “their” problems in life. Give me a break! YOU are the problem, not your child. Abuse come in many forms, both emotional and infliction of physical pain. In today’s society, it seems that parents have raised emotional abuse to an art form.

The National Center on Child Abuse and Neglect defines emotional abuse as: "acts or omissions by the parents or other caregivers that have caused, or could cause, serious behavioral, cognitive, emotional, or mental disorders.

The American Medical Association (AMA) describes Emotional Abuse as: "when a child is regularly threatened, yelled at, humiliated, ignored, blamed or otherwise emotionally mistreated. For example, making fun of a child, calling a child names, and always finding fault are forms of emotional abuse."

Emotional abuse is more than just verbal abuse. It is an attack on a child's emotional and social development, and is a basic threat to healthy human development. Emotional abuse can take many forms. Here are the ones that find fertile ground in dysfunctional tension filled households...

Belittling – Belittling a child causes the child to see him or herself in the way consistent with the caregivers words. This limits the child's potential by limiting the child's own sense of his or her own potential.

Coldness – Children learn to interact with the world through their early interactions with their parents. If parents are warm and loving, children grow to see the world as a secure place for exploration and learning. When parents are cold to their children, they deprive the child of necessary ingredients for intellectual and social development. Children who are subjected to consistent coldness grow to see the world as a cold, uninviting place, and will likely have seriously impaired relationships in the future. They may also never feel confident to explore and learn.

Corrupting – When parents teach children to engage in antisocial behavior, the children grow up unfit for normal social experience.

Cruelty – Cruelty is more severe than coldness, but the results can be the same. Children need to feel safe and loved in order to explore the world around them and in order to learn to form healthy relationships. When children experience cruelty from their parental figures, the world ceases to "make sense" for them, and all areas of learning are affected - social, emotional, and intellectual development are hindered.

Extreme Inconsistency – The foundations of learning are laid in the first interactions between child and parent - both mom and dad. Through consistent interactions, the child and parent shape each other and the child learns that his or her actions have consistent consequences - this is the foundation for learning. The child also learn to trust that his or her needs will be met from others. When the parent is inconsistent in his or her response to the child, the child cannot learn what is expected from the start, and all areas of learning can be effected throughout the child's lifespan. That’s scary... an entire span of life ruined!

Harassment – Harassment has similar effects to those of belittling, but also involves a stressful response. Harassment scares the child, and repeated exposure to fear can alter the child physically, lowering their ability to deal with other stressful situations in life.

Ignoring – Ignoring a child deprives the child of all the essential stimulation and interaction necessary for emotional, intellectual and social development.

Inappropriate Control – Inappropriate control takes three forms - lack of control, over control, and inconsistent control. Lack of control puts children at risk for danger or harm to themselves and robs children of the knowledge handed down through human history. Over control robs children of opportunities for self-assertion and self-development by preventing them from exploring the world around them. Inconsistent control can cause anxiety and confusion in children and can lead to a variety of problematic behaviors as well as impair intellectual development.

Isolating – Isolating a child, or cutting them off from normal social experiences, prevents the child from forming friendships and can lead to depression. Isolating a child seriously impairs their intellectual, emotional and social development. Isolating is often accompanied by other forms of emotional abuse and quite often physical abuse.

Rejecting – When a caretaker rejects a child, the caretaker is negating the child's self-image, showing the child that he or she has no value. Children who are rejected from the start by their parents develop a range of disturbed self-soothing behaviors. An infant who is rejected has almost no chance of developing into a healthy adult.

Terrorizing – Terrorizing, like harassment, evokes a stressful response in children. Repeated evocation of the stress response alters the child physically, lowering their ability to fight off disease, increasing their risk for many stress-related ailments. Aside from the physical affects, a child living in terror has no opportunities to develop anything other than unhealthy and anti-social survival skills.

Emotional abuse is the core of all forms of abuse, and the long-term effects of child abuse and neglect in general stem mainly from the emotional aspects of abuse. Actually, it is the psychological aspect of most abusive behaviors that defines them as abusive.

Think of a child breaking his or her arm. If the arm was broken while riding a bicycle and trying to jump a ramp, the child will heal and recover psychologically, perhaps strengthening his or her character and learning valuable life-lessons in the process by overcoming obstacles with the support of his or her caregivers and friends.

If the same injury occurs because a parent twists the child's arm behind his or her back in a rage or throws the child down the stairs, the child will heal physically, but may never heal psychologically.

In thinking of sexual abuse, think of a child being examined by a doctor - doctors touch children's private areas routinely in physical examinations without damaging children in any way. But think of the same contact sexualized, from an older acquaintance, caregiver, even a parent. It is clear that the damage from fondling [or worse] the child is psychological and emotional and will most certainly scare them for life.

Now think of a child who lives with a parent who terrifies the child but who has just enough control (IT'S ALL ABOUT CONTROL) over him or herself to refrain from injuring the child physically in a way that will draw questions. That child is suffering the same devastating abuse as the children in the examples above, but often nothing can be done about it.

Sadly, emotional abuse goes almost unnoticed and certainly unattended through intervention. Despite the fact that the long-term harm from abuse is most often caused by the emotional aspects of the abuse, emotional abuse is the most difficult to substantiate. Rarely, if ever does emotional abuse reach a level warrenting legal intervention and prosecution.

Again, in a fallen world where the counsel of God is far from the hearts of parents when they are only concerned about their “freedoms”.. it takes real injury or even the death of a child to motivate actionable intervention.

Rest assured... God is watching your every action... your every word... your every thought... every attitude of your heart when it comes to raising the gift He has made possible for you to bring up to honor and glorify Him. Proverbs 22:6 says... Train a child in the way he should go, [that would be towards God] and when he is old he will not turn from it.

A plea to parents who call themselves Christians...

Take your eyes off of yourself... said more bluntly... you have children now, get over yourself and focus all your energy on them. Allow the Spirit of God to reset your vision to see clearly God’s purpose for children and the family. Children are part of His plan... not yours. We must all be willingly and gladly embrace His calling and purposes by working with Him instead of against Him when it comes to rejoicing in the blessings of our children.

Are you living and believing that God will build and fortify your family? Are we willing to let Him? Do you view children as a blessing, a reward, and an arrow to be raised for the glory of God and the furtherance of the gospel in this fallen world? Do you understand God’s purpose for children?

When it comes to kids... you MUST get it right. Remember who is watching and listening... GOD.

Kids' Thoughts on Love and Marriage

Remember the television series called Kids Say the Darndest Things? In recent times, it was is an American comedy series hosted by Bill Cosby... first aired on CBS as a special on February 6, 1995 then as a seasonal from January 9, 1998 to June 23, 2000. It was based on a popular feature of Art Linkletter's radio show House Party and television series, Art Linkletter's House Party, which aired five days a week from 1945 to 1969. I know, most of us have to really scratch our heads to pull those memories back to the surface.

The premise of the show was very simple. The host would ask a question to a child, usually under the age of 10, who would usually respond in a very "cute" way. The show sometimes would "flashback" to Linkletter's show, showing kids of that generation, the 50’s and 60’s, with their same "cute" reactions to whatever Linkletter would ask or say to them.

It was good humor and some really interesting insights into the way children in their innocence see adults and adult behavior in the world around them. As adults, the responses of our children should make us step back and consider the way we act, react and interact with everyone we encounter.

Here are some interesting thoughts from children on Love and Marriage... and maybe even a bit of sound advice coming from the hearts of innocence.

How do you decide who to marry?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you find out later who you're stuck with. Kristen, age 10

What is the right age to get married?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. Camille, age 10

How can a stranger tell if two people are married?
You might have to guess based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. Derrick, age 8

What do your mom and dad have in common?
Both don't want any more kids. Lori, age 8

What do most people do on a date?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. Lynnette, age 8

On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.  Martin, age 10

When is it OK to kiss someone?
When they're rich. Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be 18, so I wouldn't want to mess with that. Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do. Howard, age 8

Is it better to be single or married?
It's better for girls to be single, but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. Anita, age 9 (bless you child)

How would you make a marriage work?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck. Ricky, age 10

What exactly is marriage?

Marriage is when you get to keep your girl and don't have to give her back to her parents 
Eric, age 6


When somebody's been dating for a while, the boy might propose to the girl. He says to her, I'll take you for a whole life, or at least until we have kids and get divorced, but you got to do one particular thing for me. Then she says yes, but she's wondering what the thing is and whether it's naughty or not. She can't wait to find out. 
Anita, age 9


How did your mom and dad meet? 


They were at a dance party at a friend's house. Then they went for a drive, but their car broke down. It was a good thing, because it gave them a chance to find out about their values. 
Lottie, age 9



My father was doing some strange chores for my mother. They won't tell me what kind. 
Jeremy, age 8


Is it better to be single or married?

I don’t know which is better, but I’ll tell you one thing. I’m never going to have sex with my wife. I don’t want to be all grossed out. 
Theodore, age 8



You should ask the people who read Cosmopolitan 
Kirsten, age 10



It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them. 
Anita, age 9



It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble. 
Will, age 7


And you thought you knew what your kids were thinking.

Until next time....