This Sunday, today, is Mother's Day. Make sure you take Mom to a special place for brunch or dinner. Buy her flowers! Gather around and praise her for all the goodness she has bestowed on you throughout your life.
Think about all the great things your Mom taught you! The many many great things! If a few of those great things have slipped your mind, here’s a list of Mom’s Greatest Life Teachings.
My Mother taught me LOGIC: "If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go to the store with me," as well as, "If everyone else jumped off a cliff would you do it, too?"
My Mother taught me MEDICINE: "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way.
My Mother taught me TO THINK AHEAD: "If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job!"
My Mother taught me TO MEET A CHALLENGE: "What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you...Don't talk back to me!"
My Mother taught me HUMOR: "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT: "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.”
My mother taught me about GENETICS: "You are just like your father!"
My mother taught me about my ROOTS: "Do you think you were born in a barn?”
My mother taught me about the WISDOM OF AGE: "When you get to be my age, you will understand," or, "I will explain it all when you get older."
My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION: "Just wait until your father gets home."
My mother taught me about RECEIVING: "You are going to get it when I get you home."
My mother taught me RELIGION: "You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”
My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL: "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
My mother taught me FORESIGHT: "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS: "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"
My mother taught me how to be a CONTORTIONIST: "Will you look at the dirt behind your ears and on the back of your neck?!"
My mother taught me about STAMINA: "You'll sit there until all that spinach is finished."
My mother taught me about WEATHER: "It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."
My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY: "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times: Don't exaggerate!"
My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE: "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
My mother taught me BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION: "Stop acting like your father!"
My mother taught me about ENVY: "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"
And the all-time favorite thing my mother taught me, JUSTICE: "One day you will have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you. Then you'll see what it's like! I can't wait!"
To all the Mom’s on this Mother’s Day...thanks for all the really great things you taught us! Seriously Mom, we love you and couldn’t have made it this far in life without you!
