Today is my birthday. It's certainly not a surprise. I have one every year on January 26th. No matter how hard I’ve tried, I can’t seem to avoid them. I’ve always disliked the idea of celebrating my birthday, this one especially. Maybe it’s because my life has whizzed by and now I‘ve entered my seventh decade and don't easily remember getting here.
Father time has been elbowing me in the ribs for the past 2 years, preparing me to be shoved without mercy from middle age to senior citizen. Like it or not, today I hit 60. The past two years, waiting for this day... has been like watching a slow-motion car crash coming from far off, yet knowing you can't avoid it.
For those folks who say 60 is the new 40... I have some advice for you... keep your comments to yourself! 60 is just what it is and always has been... the beginning of the end run play for the goal line. Being 60 puts you in the red zone and there’s no way to turn back the clock. No more timeouts and the clock is ticking faster than ever before. Like the game of football, where the toughest plays of the game are between the twenty yard line and the goal, the same can be said of passing the “age sixty milestone.” From here to the goal it gets tougher and tougher. Growing old is not for sissies and the faint of heart.
Six..ty. SIX..TEE! Where did the time go? I don't feel any older. I take that back...I do feel older. Especially today. My joints are stiff. Lower back is hurting. Can’t see with my glasses or without them. I have an unidentified pain in my... well that’s none of your business. I still know the person looking at me in the mirror. Hold on, I’ll think of his name... just give a me a minute!
Not that long ago, I thought of myself as kinda cool, even hip in a conservative sorta way. Well... now the world has every reason to see me as a old coot, a crank [cranky-pants], a crab, a curmudgeon, an ol’ codger. I just can’t wait for some young whipper snapper to yell at me as I leave some place... “Hey mister... you forget your cane.”
Sometimes, my life was public and sometimes anonymous. I met people at high, middle and low levels of society. Some were bright and interesting, some total duds, and it had nothing to do with where they stood on the ladder of success. It's just the way people are. I haven’t always been a big fan of people, but I am trying to like them more now.
Oh the tales I could tell you about my life and its twists and turns. I should write a book, except that what’s happening to me as I turn 60, happens to everyone... it’s not all that interesting or unique for any of us. So you can relate to this... just when you think things are going oh so good, life throws a monkey wrench into your smooth sailing and boggles everything all up. Sometimes life unravels in slow motion and you get to watch it and live it, but you can’t turn it off or change the channel. Along the way come the high points in life. Love, babies, grandkids, rainbows... Christ, God and Truth. Maybe a few toys I really didn’t need, although at the time, I couldn’t imagine life without them.
How terribly strange to be 60. Strange but not terrible. I know that my Savior has redeemed me and awaits my arrival. More than ever before, I like to imagine “they” are making arrangements now for my arrival, just in case I come earlier than expected.
I pay more attention now to life span stats and the facts are what they are. The average lifespan for a male in America is now 76. That gives me a mere 16 years remaining. I think to myself... “When was 16 years ago? Oh ya, 1995. Wait! That seems like yesterday.” See what I mean... I’m in the “red zone” now.
So... I am old enough to know better, and still young enough to do it again. At sixty, one is entitled to reflect upon one’s life, at least a little. I’m not finished with life yet, in fact there’s an awful lot I want to do, and see, and discover. And yes, I will always be okay with buying “green bananas” at the grocery store. You know... old people don’t buy “green bananas” because they might pass before they ripen and get to eat them. I guess it's a bad luck thing. There will always be someone in my house to eat them even if I’m not there.
I continue to find joy and delight in the unexpected. I like to think that I have learned at least a little about grace and love. Love which unites and grace that puts aside my failures and mistakes enabling the imperfect me to stay united with people.
Life’s formula is simple, even though it takes a long time to figure it out: Live pure, speak truth, right wrongs, follow Christ the King. What more is there?
I am deeply grateful to Debbie. For 29 years, she has been my partner in much learning and discovery. Without her, I couldn’t have made it this far. I am grateful too, for Hillary, Stephanie, Abbey and Lyndsey. Four daughters who have spontaneously, taught me about myself and my desperate need for God’s grace. They don’t even realize the lessons they’ve taught me. I continue to make mistakes... but at least now I know I did and I’m embarrassed by them. That wasn’t always the case. Now... I don't feel like it's the end of the world when tough times invade my attempts at peace and tranquility. Believe me... I covet those things, but may never get them in this life.
As I mark my 60th, no matter how you slice it... I am old. Don’t give me that “age is a state of mind” lingo... I am still in the 2-minute warning period of my life expectancy. Hopefully I’ll get at least one, maybe two overtimes before the ref calls “game over.”
I’ve thought a lot about growing old these past two years, always writing down my thoughts. I remembered something I jotted down long ago about growing older: "Too old too fast, too smart too slow." Maybe, just maybe in the “end game” I really will figure it all out.
I gotta tell ya, some things are really worth the wait though... like your first senior discount. Today, I pulled around a sharp turn drive-thru lane at a McDonalds just across the Bay Bridge west bound from San Francisco. A pleasant voice came over the speaker, “Can I help you?” “Yes you certainly can... I turned 60 today... so I would like to order a half-price “Senior’s coffee, please." “The pleasant voice said “sure, will that be all?” I pulled on around to the pay-window and the girl took one look at me and asked to see my ID. “Why do you need to see my driver’s license, don’t you believe me?” She said, “no way are you 60, no way.” “Well how old do you think I am, I asked?” The teenage girl was very very wise for her age... “I dunno, maybe 39, or 42, or 45.. you look like you’re about my Dad’s age and he’s 42, I think.” I showed her my ID and got my half-price coffee.
As I was basking in her glorious testament to my youthful appearance, I merged into traffic on my journey towards Sacramento. Even the occasional wincing from the unexplained pains couldn’t dim my smile... knowing for certain that “half-price coffee” really is worth the wait! Yes indeed... a small victory in the red zone!
