Abusive Misuse of the Power of Love...

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Of all human emotions, love is the greatest of all. Love has the power to do more to influence human relationships than we can comfortably comprehend. There is a sense that love even eclipses both faith and hope (1 Corinthians 13:13). Faith, trust and hope are stimulated by love; all three will abide, but love is the greatest because it will empower the Christian into greater adventures of trust and the realization of never-ending promises.

Love is a fantastic emotion, from both divine and human perspectives. But it can be abused—and frequently is. It is perhaps the nature of our human imperfection, that things most precious are sometimes that which we most abuse—and so it is with love. Love never fails, and yet it often fails us in our relationships. Why? Let’s reflect upon two broad categories that will illustrate how love is so often abused.

Love as a Rationalization
Love is abused when one entertains the notion that he can get by with doing evil under the guise “God loves me, therefore he will not condemn me.” Legions of Christians embrace this myth. That is why, in the viewpoint of many, rarely ever does a person die totally lost. It is alleged that God simply would not permit a person he has created and loves to be lost. His love is too marvelous for that.

If that is the case, why did Christ have to die? If Heaven’s love covers sin unconditionally, the death of the Savior was absolutely for nothing! The entire thrust of the Bible is opposed to this misguided idea.

Our mistreatment of others also is rationalized under the umbrella of love. If you love me, you won’t fret that I borrowed your car without asking. If you love me, you won’t insist that I repay the money I owe you. On and on the excuses go—each buttressed in the name of “love.”

What a gross abuse of “love” it is for two people who are not married to become sexually intimate, using the rationale, “We love one another.” God has forbidden sexual relations outside of marriage; the sin is called “fornication” (1 Corinthians 7:2). Human emotions or hormonal urges, does not negate God’s sacred law.

“But we were in love” is a common rationalization of those who would justify adulterating their marriage, or the marriage of another. “Love” is never a license to sin.

Love as a Defense Mechanism
One of the most common misuses of love is the attempt to ward off a kindly Christian chastisement with the charge, “You are not a loving person.” Such a disposition not only reflects a serious level of stubborn ingratitude, it evidences a manifest ignorance of scripture.

Remember this text: “My son, regard not lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor faint when you are reproved of him; for whom the Lord loves, he disciplines” (Hebrews 12:5; cf. Proverbs 3:11). Should we complain and pout when hardships come our way (which could be providential admonitions)? The mature child of God will be thankful, even in times of stress and anxiety, that the Lord loves him or her.

It is not uncommon for youngsters, in their immature way of evaluating the events of life, to feel that their parents do not love them, because of restrictions that are placed upon them. They will learn better when they have their own children—if they don’t destroy themselves by their youthful foolishness before they reach that point.

Elders who attempt to lead the church in disciplinary procedures against wayward members of the congregation are frequently accused of being “unloving” (1 Corinthians 5:5). How insensitive ungodly people can be, their understanding almost totally bereft of what true love involves. Paul once inquired of the foolish Christians of Galatia: “Have I become your enemy because I tell you the truth?” (Galatians 4:16). He might well have phrased it like this: “Do you think I no longer love you because I tell you the truth?”

Preachers are often criticized similarly. “He doesn’t preach with love!” Perhaps some do not. Frequently, however, this is a defense mechanism expressed by those who don’t want to hear the truth and realities of God’s commands for Christian living.

A minister of God can spend his days and nights helping people; he can teach them rich truth, listen patiently to them in times of trouble, give them assistance in hours of financial crunch, help them in days of family crises, and assist them in burying their dead—occasionally with minimal gratitude. But when he feels the need to admonish them, because of a weakness or worldliness in their lives, suddenly he has become “unloving.” Condemn the preacher, the teacher, the elder as unloving and you are then free from responsibility for your actions and attitudes.

Sin, sinful thoughts contemplation of sinful pursuits all cloud a person’s vision. Flirting with sin distorts reality. It generates a defensive, retaliatory disposition in most all people. It turns true love, the agape kind, that which acts in another’s best interest, into something ugly and hateful. There is nothing more painful to the loving person than having his or her love rejected... there is nothing so wretched as rejecting true love.

Jesus gave His people, the people who become His Church a very serious command as recorded in John 13:34....”Love one another, As I have loved you, so you must love one another”. This command is not an option among Christians in brotherhood, as embellished by the word “must”.

All Christians should work to see themselves as Christ sees us and then see one another through the “eyes of our Lord and Savior”, redeemed from sin. Let’s always be seeking to do the right things without using that which binds us together, “Love” as an excuse for condemning others and carnal living. If your mind and heart have on occasion used "love" improperly, then it's time for serious renovation of your mind and heart!