Monday, December 10, 2012

The Greatest of Life’s Challenges.... Forgiving others


If people say that there's no time like the present , they believe that it is far better to do something now than to leave it for later, in which case it might never get done.  Oh ya?  I’ll show you!

Mark Twain said... "Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow." 

Honey, weren't you going to put up the Christmas lights this weekend?’ ‘NoNext weekend, Dear! Never put off till tomorrow what you can put off till next weekend!’

Human nature seems to dove-tail very nicely with these humorous expressions.  We delay decisions, avoid confronting difficult situations and postpone bad news as long as we can.  We procrastinate about most everything in our lives at one time or another.  Saving for retirement… we’ll start next year.  Planning for the kids college education… they’re young, let’s worry about that when they’re a bit older.  Next thing you know,,, time has run out and you find yourself between the proverbial rock and hard place.  

No single issue of human living is more delayed and procrastinated...than that of dealing with those we’ve offended or coming to peace with those who have hurt us.  The most challenging act of forgiveness.

During this Christmas season, when we focus on the greatest act of forgiveness that has even been, the birth, life and death of Jesus, we do well to contemplate why forgiveness is so hard to do.

Being unwilling to forgive, avoiding the situations that caused divisions between Christians becomes an obstacle to our fully embracing and being empowered to exhibit unconditional love for others.  Forgiving others frees us to experience God's full redemption and hope.   

There’s no time like the present to forgive.  Sometime the barriers that hobble us from dealing with our pain and hurt are deeply embedded in our souls.  

There could be things in your life, things you’ve done that you wish would never have happened.  At the time your choices seemed okay, maybe even right, but as time unfolded you see the consequences of those choices are not so good.  Maybe you went through a season of rebellion and struggled with sin. Rebellion is something many of us have walked our way through, but when you're done bashing your head against the wall, it feels good to stop. Even after you tire of rebelliousness behavior, you soon realize the issues that drove you to the rebellion are still present in your soul.  That almost always manifests as anger and frustration.  

Anger and frustration come from never being able to win something, overcome something, or aspire to a goal.  For many of us, it comes from not being insync with our Christians brothers and sisters.  What does that mean?  Simple said, we all grow in Christ differently at different paces.  We see things differently than our fellow Christians... more intensely, less intensely.  

We must recognize that our wounds and hurts caused by another Christian are not intended malice.  Hurts are unintentionally inflicted because the offending person didn't value the things in your spiritual life that were important to you.  Or, they valued them differently.   We are all growing in Christ at different paces and will therefore value Spiritual things differently. As a result of that reality we will find ourselves wounded from time to time.  It’s okay... that’s why God gave us the great power of love and forgiveness... to deal with the many relationship and perception gaps that will invariably exist in Christian community.

If you will read Luke 7:40-50, you will see that forgiveness is central to our capacity to love and ultimately forgive unconditionally. Jesus is speaking to one of the Pharisees, who has invited him to his house for dinner. A woman has come to anoint Jesus. This is the conversation that follows:  

“Jesus answered and said to him, ‘Simon, I have something to say to you.’  So he said, ‘Teacher, say it.’  

‘There was a certain creditor who had two debtors. One owed 500 denarii, and the other 50. And when they had nothing with which to repay, he freely forgave them both. Tell me, therefore, which of them will love him more?"  Simon answered and said, ‘I suppose the one whom he forgave more.’   And he said to him, ‘You have rightly judged.’ Then he turned to the woman and said to Simon, ‘Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave me no water for my feet, but she has washed my feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head. You gave me no kiss, but this woman has not ceased to kiss my feet since the time I came in. You did not anoint my head with oil, but this woman has anointed my feet with fragrant oil. Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many …’” 

You can feel the compassion. Jesus says, "her sins, which are many"— which are bringing about the flow of tears you see here, the sense of devastation over what's taken place in her life, her sense of hopelessness that she finds herself completely guilty and without excuse, washing his feet with her tears—"are forgiven."  What an awesome, gentle, loving statement by Jesus, her Savior. He continues:  "Her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little."  

Why don’t we more easily forgive?  Simple answer... because we want to retain control.  Forgiveness can be about big issues and little issues, things of central value to our lives and little things that happen to get in the way. In fact, those little things can lead to big things, because the presence of personal pain that requires forgiveness sometimes can go undetected for years, partly because of the way we learn to compensate for it.   

Little things have the potential of knocking big things off course. When we pray about forgiveness, it is appropriate to say, "Lord, not only deal with the core issues of my being but also with the things that accumulate, the little things that get in the way."  ALWAYS, always make it about you not the other person.  It’s you, your capacity to love and forgive that is central in your relationship withy God.  Focus on yourself and your attitude.

Notice what Jesus said to her, "Your sins are forgiven."  And those who sat at the table with him began to say to themselves, "Who is this who even forgives sins?"  Who can forgive sins except God? Who is this guy? Who does he think he is? Only God can forgive sin.  That's exactly right. The Pharisees got it right. Only God can forgive sins. And that's who's talking to the woman, pronouncing forgiveness of sin... God! 

You would think these leaders would have said.... "What a marvelous statement. Sins can be forgiven. Isn't that wonderful? If her sins can be forgiven, mine can be forgiven." You would think they would be excited about it, but they're not. They presume Jesus is moving outside his place to pronounce forgiveness.  They also exhibit an outrage related to forgiveness, because, after all, forgiveness is dangerous stuff: If Jesus starts forgiving people, we'll lose our place as the leaders of Israel to determine who and when and how forgiveness will be extended. We want to have the power to determine who gets forgiven and how and where and when. We can't have people getting forgiven simply by going to God on their own.  

The issue of unforgiveness in many personal experiences is directly related to this. We want to retain our control.   There is power and a sense of security in control, albeit a false sense.  If people get forgiven for the horrible things they've done to us, we wonder if they'll do it again. Or maybe we'll lose the right to manipulate and control them by reminding them: "You really did hurt me. You made my life a mess, and you need to continue to compensate for that the rest of your natural life."  The power of unforgiveness controls the situation. 

Jesus has broken the power of unforgiveness, because he has demonstrated God’s willingness a and desire to forgive our sins. Sins are forgiven for a reason. Our sins have been purchased. Luke 23:34 says, "Then Jesus said, 'Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.'"  Jesus, who is God in the flesh, has made a statement that the authority to forgive sin is based on what the Son of God has done on the cross. The forgiveness that is extended in the Gospels looks forward to the day that all sins would be forgiven, when Jesus would mount the cross of his own volition and his blood would flow for the sacrifice for our sins. It's a reflection of God's justice.  

This isn't a matter of Jesus saying, "By the way, you're forgiven. God's got a year-end clearance sale on forgiveness.... it's a two-for-one special. Two of your sins for one of God's forgivenesses tokens.  Make your purchase before New Years Day. That's when the sale ends." God said that the wages of sin is death, and all of us have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. And as a result of that, a death sentence has been placed against each one of us—for big sins and little sins, many sins and few sins. The price is still the same. The wages of sin is death.  Jesus paid that price for all of us. He was born into this world to die for our sins... to teach us to love and to forgive one another.  He went to the cross willingly, took our place, yours and mine, and said, "Father, forgive them."  

God's love and justice together on the cross—the justice that says, "this needs to be paid for"; the love that says, "I'm making it available free of charge to all those who will believe." So it is that this is a matter of grace. Jesus has done everything we need. Forgiveness has been purchased on our behalf. It is a matter of love. All we need to do is receive it on the terms in which it was given. God so loved us that we should love him.  

Okay, I’m sure you’ve heard all this umpteen times.  So, how do we not forgive one another?  Forgiving... is loving one another, accepting one another for who we are, valuing the things that are important to the other person,and accepting each other’s pace of growth in Christ.  It’s growing together harmoniously in Christian Community.

NEXT TIME:  God’s Forgiveness is Conditional

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