Arguments produce nothing good... only Strife

 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:18

Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. 2 Timothy 2:23

What do you do when you find yourself sitting across the table from someone who makes a comment that strikes at the core of everything you believe in? I’m not talking here about intervening in cases of clear wrongdoing, violence or aggression.  I’m talking about the kind of disagreements or confrontations that cause people to feel terrible for the rest of the day, or worse, to start resenting the person with whom they are better off remaining peaceful.

Your reaction depends on what you hope to accomplish.

So before you get baited by someone else’s view, ask yourself the following questions.

Is there anything to be gained by engaging in conflict with this person?

...they are conceited and understand nothing. They have an unhealthy interest in controversies and quarrels about words that result in envy, strife, malicious talk, evil suspicions... 1 Timothy 6:4 

I was taught that if you have something on your mind, you say it. But this isn’t a very strategic (or profitable) way to approach relationships. When you say what’s on your mind without thinking first about potential ramifications of your words, you can end up wasting a lot of time — your own and the other person’s in back-tracking and relationship repairs.  

Stating your views doesn’t mean you’re contributing anything toward creating the kind of environment in which those views can take hold. We all love living in a free country, and we no doubt wish everyone could. But wasting time isn’t freedom, and free speech is better practiced responsibly.  After the shooting in Newtown MA, for example, many gun supporters took the time on social media to remind people why they think it’s important for Americans to maintain the right to bear arms. This created the impression that some people don’t mind when children are senselessly killed, as long as guns remain in circulation.

These people would have been better served quietly focusing on ways to make sure gun safety and responsible ownership are honestly and fairly woven into America’s social-cultural fabric.   Even when two sides disagree on specifics but agree on the bigger picture, arguments tend to cause both sides to dig in, and ultimately, to take less meaningful action because in arguing, they feel that they’ve already done something.  Obviously talk and action are not mutually exclusive, but you might ask yourself if talk has become a substitute for results-based action.

Do I really understand why this person is reacting this way?

We must keep reminding God's people of these things. We must warn them with God’s word as our guide, against quarreling about words and opinions; it is of no value, and only ruins those who listen. 2 Timothy 2:14

Opposing views cause dissension and strife. Both sides of an issue become upset. Sometimes, opposites in a war of words are coming at the same problem from two different angles, even though on the surface their views and opinions seem to contradict each other — which brings us to the next question.

Are you listening to the other sides view?

But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless. Titus 3:9

It’s very easy, once our buttons have been pushed, to close off to the view of the other person, get defensive, or hear what we want to hear. History is filled with bloodbaths that started off with simple disagreements and escalated into epic battles.

Listening to a dissenting view, no matter how much it flies in the face of your beliefs, is actually quite educational. You can learn how to better respond “next time” or maintain relationships beyond the institutionalized battleground.    However, “listening” does not mean finding ground for agreement and compromise if God’s view is different.   True and committed Christians cannot cross any line in violation of God’s commandments for holy living to simply keep status-quo and peace among rivaling perspectives on a volatile issue.  If God has issued in His Word a ruling on a particular conduct, attitude, desire or belief system, then you have no alternative but to align with God’s view.  Period.  

Am I just repeating a pattern?

What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? James 4:1 

Here’s a short of list of words that describe people who like to argue for the sake of arguing.  Do they sometimes describe you... argumentative, contrary, combative, confrontational, quarrelsome, cantankerous, contentious, volatile, truculent, pugnacious?

Sometimes we repeat or languish in the old habits of mind without stopping to wonder whether they still serve us. Sort of a “shoot first ask questions later” mentality.  We are creatures of habit, and we tend to reject new ideas without thinking them through. Often times, we reject an idea, a change, a new viewpoint, before we even hear the entire story.   Maybe its time to consider reframing our interpretations of reality, so you change the outcome of interpersonal confrontations, especially when they emanate from ideologies you can’t influence, let alone control.  

Doing and reacting defensively and aggressively in personal communications will always produce the same negative results... unwholesome and unproductive arguments.  People will do anything to avoid you henceforth.  Don’t be afraid of being wrong, it won’t kill ya.  Although, it might humble you and maybe that’s a good thing from time to time. Certainly we know God think humility is good for what ails us. (Proverbs 16:18-19; 1 Peter 5: 5-6; Luke 14:11)

If we practice detachment from our inflammatory thoughts, we learn to observe them as though we are taking a bird’s eye view of our own thinking. Write your edgy thoughts [words] down in a diary and read them over from a detached position.  Do you still want to speak them to others? That exercise will help you determine how people might react to your words.   This is a trustworthy saying. And I want you to stress these things, so that those who have trusted in God may be careful to devote themselves to doing what is good. These things are excellent and profitable for everyone.  Titus 3:8

Living by the Word of God... every single Word!

I’ve been thinking a lot about Jesus’ statement in Matthew 4:4... ‘It is written, 'MAN SHALL NOT LIVE ON BREAD ALONE, BUT ON EVERY WORD THAT PROCEEDS OUT OF THE MOUTH OF GOD.' What does that mean in everyday practical living as a follower of Christ?

Most of us haven’t a clue.  For starters it means to filter everything you think and do.  Every contemplation, every decision, every choice is filtered through the counsel and instruction found in the Word of God.  Are you constantly questioning your actions to see if they are indeed instructed by His every word? 

Maybe it’s time to seriously ask yourself, ‘what does it mean to live by His every word’? If I know the answer to that question, then it’ll be easier to ensure that you are living by His Word.

Complete Trust. If you have ever driven in unfamiliar territory, with little more than a map, without knowledge of local landmarks, then you know what it’s like to try and navigate in a direction towards a destination, depending only on the road and a few sign markers along the way.  You need some form of guidance and assurance that you are heading in the right direction. 

Living by God’s every word is exactly like that, as God will often lead us in paths we haven’t traveled before. There will often be no ‘landmarks’ or familiar ‘landscapes’ to go by, only God’s voice – His Word. Complete trust and courage in God’s direction given through His Word is required to stay on course. Joshua charged the Israelite to keep their eyes open for God’s direction as He was leading them in a path they had never been before (Joshua 3:4). To live by God’s every word is to trust His Word to take you to your destination even when the path is extremely unfamiliar and sometimes seem treacherous. 

Obey Every Instruction. Too many times we fail to listen for God’s Word in our daily living. Sometimes the distractions we allow to invade our lives hinder our ability to focus intently on God’s instructions. Everything in our lives that is not of God’s voice is potentially a distraction and likely threatening and harmful. These distractions can be like a loud noise that drowns our what we need to hear. The noise can be the opinions of our friends, spouses or fellow worshippers; it can be the news about the economy, our bosses’ voice, the voice of the doctor, or the flattering voices of people unable to tell us the truth when we step out of line with God’s will.

Sometimes we need to shut down the source of the noise around us or come away from the noise to a place where we can hear God’s voice, expressed through His Word. And having heard [by reading and meditation] His voice we must ensure that we obey and obey fully. Partial obedience to God’s Word is as good as not obeying at all or not even listening.

Think of it like this... if a car driver is using a satellite navigation system and fails to listen to all the instructions or filters out those where “he thinks he knows better” its likely he will not arrive at his expected destination.  To live by God’s every word means to listen for His voice and then to obey the instructions He gives fully, without personal filtering. Jesus said ‘My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me’ John 10:27.

Employ Patience.  This is quite important, the quality of patience in our relationship with God. As each of us grow in Christ, and matures, God’s instructions will impact us differently at different times in our lives. It is important to remember... when it is time to change course or when you come to a crossroad, it is  always after full obedience to His last instruction. Stay on course until your growth and maturity helps to reveal and change your direction.  The fact that He is silent in between commands is not an indication that He has changed His mind or that He had forgotten about you.  A lot of times we take God’s silence as license to take matters into our own hands and move off the path we’re on.  Such self-directed turns will often yield disastrous consequences.

Sarah misinterpreted God’s silence between Genesis 15 and Genesis 17 [several years] to mean abandonment and therefore encouraged Abraham to ‘help’ God fulfill His promise of giving him a child by having relations with Hagar.  But this was far from the truth. Living by God’s Word requires patience and courage to continue in His instructions no matter how long that may be.  Jesus said ‘…If you continue in my word, then are you my disciples indeed’ John 8:31. Paul helps us further by saying ‘For you have need of patience, that, after you have done the will of God, you might receive the promise’ Hebrews 10:36. Employ some patience as you live by His every word.

HEAR What He Says... Not What He Said.  This point is quite crucial and important as many of us fail to successfully engage with God’s will and purpose for our lives, as we are living life based on what He ‘said’ and not what He is ‘saying’ now.  

Consider for a minute Abraham’s example from the Bible. If when he was instructed to sacrifice Isaac in Genesis 22:2 he had failed to listen continuously for God’s voice and instructions presently, he would have killed his son and not have heard God’s voice instructing him to spare his son’s life in Genesis 22:12 and thus aborting God’s plan and will for his life. Living by God’s every word means to continually live by what “He is saying” not what He had said.  

God’s Word is constantly relevant, never out-of-date as some would suggest. What He said thousands of years ago, in the Old Testament, may seem irrelevant today, but it is not.  It meets, exceeds and conquers every social and cultural challenge to its validity as the premier source for useful counsel.  For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart. Hebrews 4:12-13

This is especially true in our contemporary times, where many want to believe that God has in some ways changed and adapted to cultural and social pressures. What he said 2,000 or 3,000 years ago as revealed in His Word is just as applicable today as then.  His revealed nature and character in the Old testament has not changed... He is the same today as He was then.  God does not change, so we must hear Him through His Word today in the same way the ancients heard Him.  His Word is up-to-date, relevant and useful in all things we encounter in today’s world.  (2 Timothy 3:16-17) 

How have you been living your life? Are you living by His every word or are you just going through life totally oblivious to or ignorant of His Word and His voice? 

Or perhaps you listened but have taken a wrong turn and are somewhat lost or you failed to listen clearly and precisely to ALL of His instruction.  It is not too late to amend your course. Just like a satellite navigation system recalculates your route and redirects you back to the right path when you make a wrong turn, so God by His word and the Holy Spirit is waiting to maneuver you back to the right path in the midst of His will. 

Why don’t you spend time in prayer and ask Him to help you to hear and obey His every word. Determine today, to start living by every word that proceeds from His mouth.

Must You be Politically Correct?

...it is written, ’Be holy, for I am holy’ —1 Peter 1:16

You need to be politically correct!  Strive in your life to never offend anyone.  Be inclusive.  Don’t say anything that will offend or do things that will make others uncomfortable.  If you have to, change your core beliefs to keep pace with ever changing social morays.  Be tolerant of all beliefs, all value systems, all views... just roll over and let anyone and everyone walk all over you.  

In today's society, pretty much anything you say or do will in someway offend somebody.  So, to keep peace, let everyone trample the absolute truths of the universe underfoot, and you keep your mouth shut so you don’t offend or upset anyone!!!   What do you think of that?  It’s foolish nonsense, that’s what it is.

Political correctness is basically surrendering to social and cultural pressures allowing the prevailing winds of society to determine how you will feel, what you should be concerned about and how you should react to what goes on around you.  If you take the concept of political correctness at face value, it is a good thing.  If being politically correct means that we treat people of different backgrounds with respect and do not stereotype them based on their race or gender, then it is in fact, very biblical. But this is not the real intention of the modern movement to be politically correct.

In truth, political correctness is designed to intimidate people into adopting views, practices and using language that has been pre-approved. Political correctness tends to be completely focused on human sensitivity and self-esteem. When you focus on human sensitivity and self, you eliminate God from your life.

It is a shame that we must disguise or marginalize truth to avoid upsetting someone. Personally, I am very sensitive to not harming another person needlessly, but I am also adamant that serious issues be addressed with facts and the truth. For example, if a person believes that marriage should be between a man and a woman, why should they be afraid to express their belief, especially when that belief is defined by God’s Holy Word?

Now, maybe some, maybe many today will believe in political correctness, but if you call yourself a Christian you better not allow it to distort your thinking!  Let me tell you why.

Christians are set apart to the Holy God.  That’s right, when you were immersed into Christ, you made a commitment to God before onlookers that you were lining up on His side.  You became a warrior for Christ and His cause.  You said in effect, you would be with Him, defending His truths before men, no matter how hard it would be and unpopular [politically incorrect] it might make you!

Toughen up soldier [Christian], God has a mission and you signed on to be smack dab in the middle of it!  Christians must continually remind themselves of the real purpose of their lives. We are not destined to happiness, nor to health, or political correctness, but to holiness. 

Today, we have far too many desires, interests and distractions, and our lives are being consumed and wasted by them. There are far too many causes that capture our attention and get in the way of pursuing genuine holiness.  Many of them may be right, noble, and good, and may later be fulfilled, but in the meantime we must focus all our energies on God’s purpose, and minimize our attention to all the unworthy causes of little importance to God’s purpose for our lives.

The only thing that truly matters is whether a person will accept God without restrictions and limitations and allow Him work in you.  At all costs, a person must have the right relationship with God.  You can ill afford periods in your life as a Christian, where you “take time for your own thing” and deflect the power of God working to transform your life.  You can’t have a 50% relationship with God, or even an 80% commitment.  He expects, He demands, an “all-in” 100% immersion in all that He is doing in the world today.  With God, you can’t be a “little bit Christian”... you are all-in or you are simply not His.

Do you believe you need to be holy? Do you believe that God can come into you and help you grow in holiness?  The preaching and teaching of the gospel awakens intense discomfort in all of us because it is designed to reveal our unholiness, but it also awakens an intense yearning and desire to be all we can be with God’s help. 

God has only one intended destiny for mankind — holiness. Our holiness is the key to all He has planned for the future... our future. His only goal is to produce real solid gold saints. God is not some eternal blessing-machine for people to use, a genie in a bottle to grant our every wish and bless our self-centered pursuits.  

He did not come to save us out of pity — He came to save us because He created us to be holy. Atonement through the Cross of Christ means that God can put me back into perfect oneness with Himself through the death of Jesus Christ, without any sin ever again separating us.

Never tolerate, because of sympathy for yourself or for others, any practice that is not in keeping with a holy God.  Did you hear that?  READ it again! Think about it!  Pray about it!  Pretty much nullifies the concept of political correctness doesn’t it?

Holiness means absolute purity in your walk before God, the words coming from your mouth, and every thought in your mind — placing every detail of your life under the scrutiny of God Himself.   You stand up for Him; you defend His truths; you speak for Him, even when His truths are socially and politically incorrect.

Holiness is not simply what God demands of us, it makes YOU different.  YOU need to accept that reality.  If you really believe you are a Christian and you desire to be claimed by Him, then holiness is the essential ingredient of your lifestyle.

THINK about your pursuit of holiness and alignment with God’s absolute truth.  The next time you get all worked up about some injustice or cause you think important, and you want to immerse yourself in promoting and defending the cause, THINK of how all that effort is deflecting your attention away from the work that God is trying to do in you.