After introducing the radical idea of the “sword” dividing... Jesus goes on to illustrate it in a very sensitive area that touches everyone. He speaks of something that occupies a very high place in our lives, sometimes “higher” than God. You might be surprised... it's your family.
Look what Jesus says in Matthew 10:35–38... "For I have come to turn "a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law - a man's enemies will be the members of his own household." Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me.”
That is a deeply personal and threatening example of how the “sword that divides.” It is one of the most controversial statements said by Jesus in the Bible. What kind of person would make these kinds of statements? What kind of person would be so bold, so outrageous as to step into another person's life and say... You have to love me more than your own children, more than your mother or your father?
To be so bold, you either have to be the Messiah with the authority to demand that kind of allegiance or you're a maniac. In either case, this “attitude” does not fit our family-friendly view of Jesus that we cleave to. Certainly not the view of Jesus we like at the holidays, which are supposed to be all about family.
That's precisely the point. Jesus recognizes that in our alienation from God, in our separation from Him, we tend to put something else in God's rightful place in our lives, and sometimes we'll even exalt something that is good and wonderful like family... putting our loved ones in a place rightfully reserved for God alone.
This is radical thinking, potentially causing one of three reactions: for seekers... accepting Jesus or rejecting him entirely. For the already believing Christian... accepting or rejecting this aspect of your allegiance to Christ. For a Christian, the consequences are dire... you will stunt your growth in Christ, never progressing to maturity.
Jesus is not saying it's wrong to be deeply committed to loving our children, our parents and our mates. He does not want us to think members of our households are a bad influence. The problem is when we exalt them to a place of priority and pre-eminence that belongs to God alone. When family become primary and God and His mission for us becomes secondary, we have a problem in our relationship with God.
Okay, maybe you’re thinking... there has to be some explanation for what Jesus is saying. Maybe he's using hyperbole. Maybe he's exaggerating to make a point. Maybe it's mistranslated or something, because he can't be serious about something so precious, something He even formed... the family. After all, that bond between parent and child is one of the strongest bonds possible. It's a biological bond. It's a spiritual bond. It's a psychological bond. In fact, when parents abuse or neglect their children we see that as one of the greatest evils in society.
It's abnormal not to love and be committed and sacrificial toward our children and other family members. How can Jesus expect us to relegate loving our families to second place? For many people confronted with “calculating the cost of discipleship” such an expectation is too heavy, it’s unnatural, it’s wrong. How do we react? We find some way to dismiss these verses or justify them or water them down to something more amenable. That's a mistake, because Jesus is very serious.
Consider this reasoning... if there really is a God and if he's the Creator of all things, if everything in existence draws its life from God and if he's eternal without beginning or end, if we are infinitely dependent upon him for our existence every moment, every second of our life, and if our connection to this God in one form or another will exist for eternity, then does it not logically follow that our relationship to this Creator should have supremacy above all other things, including our families?
Though we love mom and dad, our sons and daughters, our connection to them is not eternal. It all feels like a “shock to our perceptions of God” but what Jesus is saying here prompts questions we should ask ourselves... Do you recognize the supremacy of God over all things? The one who created your mother, your father, your son, your daughter deserves your unconditional allegiance, more than they do. Do you recognize the supremacy of God over your life? Because those who do not are unworthy of God, because they've given their allegiance to some lesser thing. Like everything else Jesus says in this passage, this is counterintuitive, certainly counter-cultural, hard teaching.
Christians especially have a hard time dealing with this teaching of Jesus. Living in Christian community, we talk a lot about family, marriage, and children. Part of that is because our culture is growing increasingly hostile to families, and we're reacting to the negative world around us. Part of it is because the Scriptures have a lot to say about family relationships. Family is core to our faith and our obedience to Christ is often lived out and even magnified in our closest family relationships.
So the tendency is to exalt family and make it central in the Christian life. We've got to be careful we don’t cross the line. Jesus Christ is not ultimately or primarily concerned with the unity and harmony of the family. His ultimate and primary concern is that we live in unity and harmony with him. Family is subordinate to our submissive commitment to God alone.
Was Jesus blunt in presenting this analogy? Does it send shock wave through you? Oh yes, very much so. His teaching on the way to obtain and maintain spiritual salvation is like a sword because it separates people into those who believe and those who do not. Jesus is saying specifically that his teaching will cut through families like a sword, with some family members believing and following Jesus' teaching and other family members rejecting Jesus' teaching.
Scripture shows us very clearly how Jesus divides people. Jesus confronts us with the truth. He is "the truth" (John 14:6). We have to respond. The way we respond divides us. We can either accept the truth [Him] or reject it [Him]. If we think we can be neutral or ignore it [Him], that is ultimately a form of rejection.
By his coming to earth, Jesus confronted us in a new way with God's eternal truth. Men had to react to this confrontation. No more could humanity stand on neutral ground. People’s reaction divided them into two groups, those who accepted Jesus and those who rejected him. It was not unusual then, and is not unusual today, to have different members within the same family be in these different groups.
The Scriptural view is clear... the world is divided into two groups: those who believe in Jesus Christ and those who do not believe in him, those who are in the kingdom of God and those who are in the kingdom of darkness. There is no middle ground. There is no room for fence-sitters. Jesus said, "He who is not with me is against me" (Matthew 12:30).
Split loyalty will not work. You cannot serve more than one God. "No one can serve two masters...” (Matthew 6:24). Christians should not be "yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? What fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial?" (2 Corinthians 6:14-15).
A Christian’s perspective should be like that of the apostle Paul, who saw the pain and trials of this life as nothing when compared to the joys of heaven (2 Corinthians 4:16-18). Jesus does not minimize the price of discipleship, because of the magnitude of the prize of discipleship.
God is eternal, man is not. Nothing clarifies your life more than death, wether it’s yours or someone close to you. We love our parents and our children, those are non-negotiable aspects of growing up in Christ. But who do we owe our allegiance to? Ask yourself, when you became a Christian, who did you commit your life to? Was it a mortal or immortal eternal commitment? Ultimately our allegiance does not belong to our mortal family members, but totally and exclusively to the Eternal Living God.
Most of us didn’t give a thought to the notion that when we invited Jesus Christ into our lives, he would bring a sword, with the intent to cut away the “gods we have placed before Him.” That turns our life upside down, and at some point we are confronted with choosing who will be first in our lives... God or someone else. Sometimes our allegiance to our family, conflicts with our allegiance to Christ. And in those moments we are confronted with the true depth of our faith.
As you contemplate Christ as the risen Savior and reigning King this Christmas season, think about the depth of your commitment to Him. Is He first, really first?
