Overcoming Loneliness

The Bible is God's instruction manual for life. It provides the answers we need to make wise choices and gives us comfort, peace and hope for a brighter tomorrow. God inspired it to be profitable and beneficial for us (2 Timothy 3:16-17). 

Can the Bible really show us how to experience less loneliness—regardless of our situation? And does the Bible show us how to have joy and success in life and in our relationships in spite of being lonely? Let's look at some specific biblical principles that can help us learn to cope with loneliness.

Did God design and create us to desire and need companionship, friendship and fellowship?  Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 says... Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up. Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; but how can one be warm alone? Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

The implication is that two people are much stronger together than one person is alone. God designed us to want companionship and friendship and to find our greatest fulfillment in loving others. To feel alone and unloved hurts terribly. Y have to take action to overcome loneliness, so learning how to cope with feeling lonely is the beginning of your personal recovery. It’s a two part process – what God will do to help you and what you can do for yourself... how you can reach out to others to build lasting relationships.

Does God understand my loneliness?  Hebrews 4:14-16 says... Seeing then that we have a great High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin.  Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

Matthew 27:46 says... And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, "Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?" that is, "My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?"

First, God created us and all of our emotions, so He surely understands us. Jesus experienced loneliness in his earthly life, and not just when He felt His Father had forsaken Him when He was on the cross. Just think, no other human being who interacted with Jesus was anywhere near His spiritual level, so their capacity for spiritual fellowship was quite shallow when compared to that of Jesus (John 2:24-25). No one was completely faithful to Jesus. His disciples were the most committed, and even they forsook Him at His greatest time of need. So Jesus Christ has experienced every human emotion, and He knows what it's like to be lonely. Talk to Him about it in prayer... open your heart and pour out your feelings... He understands you better than you understand you!

Is it God's plan for us to have strong family relationships?

Genesis 2:18 says... And the Lord God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him."

Psalm 68:5-6 says... A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy habitation. God sets the solitary in families; He brings out those who are bound into prosperity; but the rebellious dwell in a dry land.

After God created Adam, He knew that Adam needed someone to share his life with him. Adam was simply not complete being alone. Marriage is a divine institution ordained by God. Families become the natural place for us to have personal relationships with others and to know we are not alone. If you have family, be sure you connect and contribute to their happiness and peace. Many of us have dysfunctional families, but if we love them unconditionally (following God's example in Romans 5:8) and work to fulfill the needs of other family members, we often can improve the situation (Philippians 2:4).

But even if we don't have a physical family we can depend on God to fill the void when He says... "I make a home for the lonely" (Psalm 68:6 NASB). His Church can be a spiritual family a hundred times larger than a physical family (Mark 10:29-30). God tells His Church to "consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together" (Hebrews 10:24-25). Above all, we can develop a close relationship with our Heavenly Father and our redeemer... Jesus Christ.

I'm a widower and live alone. How can God help me feel better?

1 Timothy 5:5 says... Now she who is really a widow, and left alone, trusts in God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day.  If you are widowed and alone, put your trust in God. Talk to Him about your loneliness. Let Him know what your heart desires. Jesus Christ promises that whatever we ask in His name, according to His will, He will give to us (John 14:14; 1 John 5:14). Nothing is impossible for God (Mark 10:27).

I've been lonely for so long, why isn't God helping me?

Hebrews 13:5 says... Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you."

James 4:8 says... Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

Sometimes God requires us to build character in ways we would not have chosen for ourselves. Coping with loneliness may be one of those ways God is allowing our character to be tested. Will we learn to be content with the blessings God has given us? Will we really believe God is with us and that we have not been left truly alone?

Remembering that God will never leave us can be much needed encouragement when we feel abandoned by others. And when we try to draw near to God, we can be assured that He will draw near to us.

How do I know God will really help me?

Isaiah 41:10 says... Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.

1 Corinthians 10:13... No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.

So often being alone brings feelings of fear and anxiety. Sometimes we feel helpless. Once again, we see the great God offering us the promise of strength and help regardless of the physical situations in which we find ourselves. You can claim these promises.

My loneliness leads to anxiety and worry. What can I do to stop being afraid?

1 Peter 5:6-7 says... Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.

Psalm 23:4-6 says... though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; my cup runs over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Worry, fear, anxiety. All of these emotions can tear us down, cause depression and negatively reinforce feelings of loneliness. But our Father says He will take care of everything! He provides for the sparrows; He can certainly provide for us (Luke 12:6-7). God is a loving Father who loves us even more than any parent loves his or her little child. Learn to trust Him to care for every need you have.

What's the use? I feel despair and hopelessness and it will never end.

Psalm 147:3 says... He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Psalm 94:19 says... In the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul.

Romans 15:4 says... For whatever things were written before were written for our learning, that we through the patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope.

Loneliness is a condition that we must deal with and defeat. Continuing in a state of loneliness often leads to the even more serious condition of depression. Please don't think you have to cope by yourself. Please ask for help. God gives healing and comfort in many ways—through His Word, the Bible; through The Holy Spirit; and through His intervention in our lives. And God often answers prayers by directing us to people who can help us. You can get help from trusted friends and your minister. If the problem is really serious and deep-seated, there are Christian counselors who can give professional help.

Does trusting God imply action on our part?

James 2:26 says... For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.

John 14:21 says... "He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me. And he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and manifest Myself to him."

Matthew 7:21 says... "Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,' shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven."

We begin to see that some action is needed on our part. We must learn to trust that God will provide for our needs. If we expect Him to answer our prayers, to provide for our needs and to comfort us in times of loneliness, does He expect anything in return? The answer is yes. We not only should reach out to others to befriend and encourage them, but we also must believe God and we must do what He says to do. We must keep His Commandments. We must live by every Word of God. The entire Bible is written by inspiration of God (2 Timothy 3:16), so we must believe the Bible and live by it.

If I turn my attention to the needs of others, will my loneliness diminish?

Acts 9:36-41 says... At Joppa there was a certain disciple named Tabitha, which is translated Dorcas. This woman was full of good works and charitable deeds which she did. But it happened in those days that she became sick and died. When they had washed her, they laid her in an upper room. And since Lydda was near Joppa, and the disciples had heard that Peter was there, they sent two men to him, imploring him not to delay in coming to them. Then Peter arose and went with them. When he had come, they brought him to the upper room. And all the widows stood by him weeping, showing the tunics and garments which Dorcas had made while she was with them. But Peter put them all out, and knelt down and prayed. And turning to the body he said, "Tabitha, arise." And she opened her eyes, and when she saw Peter she sat up. Then he gave her his hand and lifted her up; and when he had called the saints and widows, he presented her alive.

Proverbs 12:25 says... Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad.

Perhaps Tabitha was a widow in the Church. In any event, she was known for doing good works for people and providing for the needs of others. This is a key principle for coping with loneliness. The Bible shows we should be aware of and provide for the needs of others in addition to our own (Philippians 2:4). Tabitha got sick and died, but God raised her from the dead!  Helping others will take the focus off ourselves and will help us overcome our feelings of loneliness.

One thing we all can do is speak good words of hope and encouragement to other people. Lifting others up can be uplifting to us as well. Walk closely with the Lord each day and your healing from loneliness will begin, as you are transformed into a helper and giver to those who need your help!

Alone and Lonely

God, I am lonely.  I am not alone, because loneliness is always with me.  I feel like I am facing everything by myself, with nothing around me but fears.  The worst thing in the world isn’t being alone... its being surrounded by people that make you feel like you’re alone.  What’s wrong with me?  Sometimes I can’t even make myself get out of bed.  I just don’t want to see anyone.  I’d rather be alone.  But at the same time, being alone is what makes me feel this way.  I want somebody to show me that I am worth saving.  I need some to show me that I am not going to be alone forever.  These are but a few of the mental outcries of someone suffering from extreme loneliness.

Do you feel alone in the world?  How do you feel about that?  How does one cope with feelings of loneliness?  There are many public and private ways to manage loneliness.  You can submit to medical and therapeutic professionals... who will prescribe drugs for depression and anxiety or talk with you about various things that have happened in your life that may be contributing to your feelings of insolation.   And there’s always the Internet,  which promises endless kinds of “virtual communities” to replace or supplement the real.

While each of these avenues may have some value, these alternatives seem destined to leave certain basic human yearnings unaddressed.  The Internet for example with its many virtual environments, cannot replace real live human interactions.

For many people, the strongest forms of community are still the traditional ones — the kind forged by shared genes, shared memories, shared geography. And neither Facebook nor a life coach nor a well-meaning medical and therapeutic bureaucracy is likely to compensate for these forms of the human experience.

The Bible, as our counselor and guide for living, says a lot about loneliness and how we can learn to manage that emotional emptiness.  In a nutshell... we are never truly alone if we are living in a relationship with God. 

God is always there for us no matter what. He stands by our side, even when we cannot feel Him. As people, we just want to feel loved, and when we don't feel loved we often make some very bad choices in pursuit of being accepted by others. Yet, if we look to God to know His love, we will always find it and know we are not alone.  While this is absolutely true... it is not easy to live each day enveloped in loneliness, trusting that God is really there with us.  After all, God is not flesh and blood, so it is hard to grasp that He can fill our needs for tangible human connections.  We want something tangible, controllable, touchable to augment the =emotions of loneliness.

There is a difference between being “alone” and “being lonely.”  To really understand your personal circumstances you need to know the difference.  You can be surrounded by people 24/7 and still feel lonely, or you can be miles and miles away from any people, totally alone, but not at all lonely.  Living in a cabin in the Denali national forest near the foot of Mt. McKinley in Alaska might be a long way from other people, but not necessarily make you feel lonely.

Alone means you are by yourself in a physical sense and being that way is usually a personal choice. There is no one around you, you may be far away, isolated from other people. Being “alone” can be a good thing when you want some peace and quiet or a bad thing when you're alone in a possibly threatening situation…but either way being “alone” is a physical condition typically marked by time, place and distance.

However, loneliness is a state of mind, an emotional void.  It's a feeling of having no one to turn to, having no one who loves you and can easily grow into a state of despair. Loneliness can be experienced when we're alone or when we are completely immersed in people. Loneliness is an internal feeling, a negative emotion, not an external condition determined by choice.

In prophetic reference to Jesus and what he himself would experience while living as a human, Isaiah 53:3 says... "He was despised and rejected - a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way. He was despised, and we did not care."  Everyone experiences loneliness from time to time, even the Son of God, Jesus, the Christ experienced both being alone, often by choice and the feelings of loneliness... isolation from those he cared about, and those He thought cared about Him. 

While not something we want to hear, loneliness is a natural feeling. Yet, we often forget the proper response to feeling lonely, which is to turn to God. 

God is always there. He understands our need for friendship and fellowship. Throughout the Bible we are reminded of our responsibilities to one another, so it is not surprising that we get lonely when we have a lack of connection to other people.

So when loneliness starts to creep in on us, we need to first turn to God. Trust Him, He gets it. He can be our comfort in those transition times. Above all reactions you can have when praying about your loneliness to God... TRUST Him no matter what response you think you are getting.  You want immediate relief and satisfaction, but He may use the time to build our character. He may strengthen you in times when you feel completely alone. Remember, it is God that will build us up and walks beside us in your times of deep loneliness.

It's important during times of loneliness that we turn to God and away from ourselves. Psalm 62:8 says... "Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us."  Loneliness is always compounded by thinking of ourselves first. Maybe getting out and helping others will help you. Open yourself up to new connections. When you smile and have a positive attitude, people are drawn to you. Set yourself up in social situations like being immersed in every activity the church offers... from youth group, outreach fellowship activities and weekly Bible study classes.  To have friends, you must make yourself readily available to be someone's friend.

Think no one in the Bible experienced loneliness? Think again. David experienced profound moments of loneliness. He had times when he was being hunted by his own son and had to leave his family to avoid confrontation. Many Psalms address his deep loneliness, and he often plead to God for mercy in those times.  Psalm 25:16-21 is an fine example of his deeply intimate revelation of his sense of loneliness... "Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. Relieve the troubles of my heart and free me from my anguish. Look on my affliction and my distress and take away all my sins. See how numerous are my enemies and how fiercely they hate me! Guard my life and rescue me; do not let me be put to shame, for I take refuge in you. May integrity and uprightness protect me, because my hope, LORD, is in you." 

As the Bible reveals, Jesus felt loneliness at times, more so when he was being persecuted and placed on the cross. Matthew 27:46 records the cry of loneliness express by Jesus in the moments before he expired...  "About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, 'Eli, Eli, lemasabachthani?' (which means 'My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?')." 

Even though He knew what He was doing for humanity... He still felt God had abandoned him. This was a most painful and lonely time at the end of his life.  His most faithful followers abandoned him in his hour of need. The people who followed him and loved him before he was crucified were no longer there for him. He knew exactly what it felt like to be alone, and therefore He knows exactly what we go through when we feel loneliness.

If the Lord had not been my help, my soul would soon have lived in the land of silence. When I thought, “My foot slips,” your steadfast love, O Lord, held me up. When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul.  Psalm 94: 17-19

NEXT TIME we will explore... What the Bible says about coping with Loneliness?  Until then... Walk upright in the Lord.

The Plague of Loneliness...

“I hardly have any friends. I’m spend day after day in my room and on the computer. I have Facebook you know. I know that’s not great but it beats being lonely.”

“I have some acquaintances but nobody close to me. Other people seem to have people to call up to do things. I don’t. What’s wrong with me?”

“I can’t find people who seem like they might be good friends to have. How can I find people I can connect with?”

“Why can’t I find a relationship? People tell me I’m attractive. I know lots of people on a surface level. But I don’t have friends like other people do, at least that’s how I feel.”

“I find it hard to talk to people. I only have one friend and I’ve known her since kindergarten. Meeting new people just doesn’t work for me.”

If you recognize yourself in any of those statements, you’re not alone. In a world full of people, there are many who can’t seem to find friends or build friendships and relationships that last.

Loneliness is a complex and unpleasant emotional response to a sense of feeling isolation from other people. Loneliness typically includes anxious feelings about a lack of connectedness or communality with other people.  Loneliness can be felt even when surrounded by other people. The causes of loneliness are varied and include social, mental, emotional, and spiritual deficits.

Research has shown that loneliness is widely prevalent throughout society among people in all aspects and endeavors of life... particularly marriages, families and successful careers. It has been a long explored theme in the literature of human beings since classical antiquity. Loneliness has also been described as social pain — a psychological mechanism meant to alert an individual of isolation and motivate him or her to seek meaningful social connections.  Easier said than done.

The Bible addresses loneliness almost from the outset. When the first human being Adam was created, God observed that "It is not good that man should be alone" (Gen. 2:18). So from Adam's rib God created Eve as a companion and a helper. Fellowship with another person was established as an essential aspect of the human experience..  The Bible goes on to discuss loneliness multiple times. It differentiates between types of loneliness, what causes it, and how to recover from it. Whether you are physically alone or just feeling lonely in  a relationship, the Bible offers plenty of wisdom.

Being alone and being lonely are two different things. One can be alone without being lonely, and one can be lonely in a crowded room and in the most intimate of relationships, such as marriage. 

Loneliness is, therefore, a state of mind, an emotion brought on by feelings, real and perceived, of separation from other human beings. The sense of isolation is very deeply felt by those who are lonely. The Hebrew word translated “desolate” or “lonely” in the Old Testament means “one alone, only; one who is solitary, forsaken, wretched.” There is no deeper sadness that ever comes over the human mind than the idea that we are alone in the world, that we do not have a friend, that no one cares for us, that no one is concerned about anything that might happen to us, that no one would care if we were to die or shed a tear over our passing. 

No one felt loneliness more keenly than the Israelite King David. In a series of earnest, heartfelt appeals to God, David cried out in his loneliness and despair. His own son was risen up against him, the men of Israel went after him, and he was forced to flee from the city, and leave his house and family. Lonely and afflicted (Psalm 25:16), his only recourse was to turn to God and plead for mercy and God’s intervention (Psalm 25:21) because his only hope was in God. 

It is interesting to note that the word “lonely” is never used in the New Testament to describe people. In the New Testament, the word “lonely” only occurs twice and both times refers to desolate places (Mark 1:45; Luke 5:16), where Jesus moved off into the wilderness to be alone. 

Whatever the cause of loneliness, for the Christian the cure is always the same — the comforting fellowship of Jesus Christ. That loving relationship with our Master has reassured and encouraged countless thousands who languished in difficult situations and even went to their deaths for His sake. He is the friend who “sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24), who lays down His life for His friends (John 15:13-15), and who has promised never to leave us or forsake us but to be with us until the end of the age (Matthew 28:20). 

We can take comfort in the words of the old hymn that says it best: “Friends may fail me, foes assail me, He (Christ) is with me to the end. Hallelujah, what a Savior!”

Okay, understanding the power of a personal and comforting relationship with Christ is not necessarily going to cure the problem you are having with loneliness is it?    

All people, even those who know Christ and the Church can be enveloped by loneliness that can lead to depression, that can then lead to many very serious problems.  Without a community to lean on, a strong network in times of trial and a relationship you can trust, many are left vulnerable to seeking ways to deaden the pain of loneliness... often through drugs or worse.

Absent such blessings, it’s all too understandable that some people enduring suffering and loneliness end up looking not for help or support, but for a way to end it all... by taking their life.

This act of desperation while shocking is not necessarily surprising.  There's a strong link between suicide and weakened social ties: people — especially men — are more likely to kill themselves when they retreat from society's core institutions... marriage, family obligations, civic and religious participation, and from full-time paying work (unemployment).   

As Christians, we understand this uncomfortable reality, because we recognize humanity was created to live in community and in intimate relationship with God. As we preach and teach, the hope we offer in Christ is not only for an eternity with God; it is our hope that we can make a life-or-death difference in the lives of people right now.

In the next installment on this topic, we will explore ways to cope with loneliness.  

TODAY, this WEEK... Embrace someone you care about... tell them you love and care deeply for them.  

Until next time... Walk upright before the Lord. 

Teens on Drugs...? What to do?

Learning to resist pressures to do what is wrong is an important part of being a Christian. The book of Proverbs, specifically written as advice for young people, admonishes... "My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent" Proverbs:1:10

When we become adults, we are likewise to resist the world's temptations to do the wrong things,  to sin.  One way to resist negative peer pressure is to spend time with people who don't tempt us to sin. Choose the right kind of friends and associates. God says not to keep company with a drunkard. 1 Corinthians 5:11 says this... But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people.

While we will undoubtedly meet and have to interact with people who break God's laws, if we are wise, we will spend the majority of our time with those who are also striving to live honorable lives.

Recreational marijuana use is not consistent with anything the Word of God tells us about living an honorable Christian life. We are to be transformed by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:2), not by the deadening of our spirit and degrading of our minds. We are to be sober-minded about the devil’s schemes (1 Peter 5:8–9), and that would include never being altered physically and mentally by various drugs that we are not in control of our surroundings.  Being high on drugs, stoned on marijuana is a sure path to personal shame, and even sudden death.  Using drugs makes a statement to God that we don’t care about our minds or bodies. 

We are to be filled with the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 5:18), not baked/blasted/wasted by what is undeniably harmful drugs.

Okay, what if a drug problem has already developed in one of your family members?  How do we as parents respond to a teenager’s substance abuse?

Don’t be ashamed or embarrassed... even closely knit families with strong moral values and ongoing drug-proofing have no guarantee that substance abuse won't affect one or more of their children. The problems may range from a brief encounter with cigarettes to an episode of intoxication (perhaps with legal consequences) to a dangerous drug addiction. As you begin to cope with one or more chemical intruders in your home, and your lived one’s life, keep the following principles in mind:

Don't deny or ignore the problem. If you do, it is likely to worsen until your family life is turned inside out. Take the bull by the horns — but be sure to find out exactly how big and ugly the bull is. The marijuana cigarette you discovered may be a one-time experiment or the tip of the iceberg. Talk to your child or adolescent about it — but also talk to siblings, friends and anyone else who may know the extent of the problem. You may not like what you hear, but better to get the hard truth now than a ghastly surprise later.

Don't wallow in false guilt. Most parents assume a great deal of self-blame when a drug problem erupts in their home. If you do carry some responsibility for what has happened (whether you know about it immediately or find out later on), face up to it, confess it to God and your family, and then get on with the task of helping your child. But remember that young users must deal with their own responsibility as well.

Seek help from people experienced with treating drug problems. Talk to your family physician and your Church leaders. They should be part of your team, even if in a supporting role. It is likely that you will receive a referral to a professional who is experienced in organizing a family intervention. This may include educational sessions, individual and family counseling, medical treatment and long-term follow-up. When the user's behavior is out of control and he is unwilling to acknowledge the problem, a carefully planned confrontation by family members and others affected may need to be carried out under the supervision of an experienced counselor. The goal is to convince the drug user in a firm but loving way of the need for change — now. The confrontation should include specific alternatives for the type of treatment he will undergo and clear-cut consequences if he is not willing to cooperate.

Be prepared to make difficult, "tough love" decisions. If you have a drug-dependent adolescent who will not submit to treatment and insists on continuing drug use and other destructive actions, you will need to take the stomach-churning step of informing him that he cannot continue to live in your home while carrying on this behavior. This will be necessary not only to motivate him to change but to prevent his drug-induced turbulence from destroying the rest of your family.

If you must take this drastic step, it would be helpful to present him with one or more options. These might include entering an inpatient drug-treatment center, halfway house, boot-camp program or youth home, or staying with a relative or another family who is willing to accept him for a defined period of time. More ominous possibilities may need to be discussed as well, such as making him a ward of the court or even turning him over to the police if he has been involved in criminal activity. If you continue to shield him from the consequences of his behavior or bail him out when his drugs get him into trouble, he will not change and you will be left with deep-seated anger and frustration.

Don't look for or expect quick-fix solutions. It is normal to wish for a single intervention that will make a drug problem go away. But one conversation, counseling session, prayer time or trip to the doctor won't be enough. Think in terms of a comprehensive response encompassing specific treatment and counseling and the gamut of your child's life — home, school, friends and church.

Remember the father of the Prodigal Son. Tough love means allowing the consequences of bad decisions to be fully experienced by one who is making them. It also means that your child knows a parent's love for him is so deep and secure that it will never die. 

Never give up hope, never stop praying, and never slam the door on reconciliation and restoration when your child comes to his or her senses.  Take it from one who has traveled this hard road with a teen daughter... she survived against what looked like insurmountable odds.

Her mother and I know there can be recovery from drug abuse, but it takes time, support, patient and perseverance.  

The Twisted Arguments for MARIJUANA Legalization…

Then God said, "I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. Genesis 1:29

An Oklahoma state senator recently filed a petition to legalize marijuana in the state, telling supporters that the campaign is based on Genesis 1:29, which suggests that God created "this wonderful, miraculous plant."  "We're putting forth Genesis 1:29 as the basis of this campaign," so said the senator to supporters at a gathering on the steps of the State Capitol in Oklahoma City.   The senator went on to say... "God created this wonderful, miraculous plant and we know that it has been vilified for the last 100 years, and it's time to change that in Oklahoma."  The legalization plan proposes to allow personal possession of up to one ounce of marijuana for recreational use, and three ounces for medical reasons. "It's just the right thing to do. It's a plant. It's a God given plant and it could change the world," so says the senator from Oklahoma. (likely this senator is already smoking “weed” for enlightenment)

The senator is of the opinion that taxing the sale of marijuana will create a windfall of new tax revenues for Oklahoma. No one will argue that point... like Colorado and Washington State, if the Okies legalize pot, tax revenues will skyrocket.

If you’re surprised that Oklahoma is riding the legalization bandwagon then the movement afoot in many conservative midwestern states to legalize marijuana will alarm you. The tide of legalization is growing more intense as each day passes.  At this point, there are 22 states plus the District of Columbia,  who have legalized marijuana in some form, mostly for medical purposes, but recreational legalization is coming quickly because that's the key to the tax windfall. 

How long before every state has legalized weed for medical and recreational use?  I am predicting within 5 years every state will have legalization on the books in some form.  Proponents of drug legalization have aligned themselves with those in a position to sell their lies to the younger generation of Americans as a way to generate tax revenue, decriminalize use and possession and reduce the prison population, just to name a few of the arguments.

Should We Legalize Drugs?  Those weary of the war on drugs have suggested that we should decriminalize drugs. Former Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders suggested we study the impact of legalizing drugs. For years, an alliance of liberals and libertarians have promoted the idea that legalizing drugs would reduce drug costs and drug crimes in this country. But would it? Let's look at some of the arguments for drug legalization.  You decide if each argument is sound or twisted reasoning.

1. Legalization will take the profit out of the drug business.  As surprising as it may sound, relatively few drug dealers actually earn huge sums of money. Most in the crack business are low-level runners who make very little money. Many crack dealers smoke more crack than they sell. Drug cartels are the ones making the big profits.

Would legalizing drugs really affect large drug dealers or drug cartels in any appreciable way? Drug cartels would still control price and supply even if drugs were legalized in this country. If government set the price for legalized drugs, criminals could undercut the price and supply whatever the government did not supply.

Addicts would not be significantly affected by legalization. Does anyone seriously believe that their behavior would change just because they are now using legal drugs instead of illegal drugs? They would still use theft and prostitution to get the cash needed to support their habits.

Proponents also argue that legalizing drugs would reduce the cost of drugs and thus reduce the supply of drugs flowing to this country. Recent history suggests that just the opposite will take place. When cocaine first hit the United States, it was expensive and difficult to obtain. But when more was dumped into this country and readily available in less expensive vials of crack, drug addiction rose and drug-related crimes rose.   Is this argument SOUND or TWISTED?

2. Drug legalization will reduce drug use.  Proponents argue that legalizing drugs will make them less appealing as they will no longer be "forbidden fruit." However, logic and social statistics suggest that decriminalizing drugs will actually increase drug use.

Those arguing for the legalization of drugs often point to Prohibition as a failed social experiment. But was it? When Prohibition was in effect, alcohol consumption declined by 30 to 50 percent and death from cirrhosis of the liver fell dramatically. One study found that suicides and drug-related arrests also declined by 50 percent. After the repeal of the 18th amendment in 1933, alcoholism rose dramatically. So did alcohol-related crimes and accidents. If anything, Prohibition proves the point that decriminalization increases use of dangerous substances.

Comparing alcohol and drugs actually strengthens the argument against legalization since many drugs are even more addictive than alcohol. Consider, for example, the difference between alcohol and cocaine. Alcohol has an addiction rate of approximately 10 percent, while cocaine has an addiction rate as high as 80 percent.

Many drugs are actually "gateway drugs" to other drugs.  A 1992 article in The Journal of Primary Prevention found that marijuana is essentially a "necessary" condition for the occurrence of cocaine use. Other research shows that involvement with illicit drugs is a developmental phenomenon, age correlates with use, and cigarette and alcohol use precedes marijuana use.

Dr. Robert DuPont, former head of the National Institute on Drug Abuse, argues that the potential market for legal drugs can be compared to the number of Americans who now use alcohol (140 million persons). If his assumption is correct, then approximately 50 million Americans would eventually use cocaine if it were a legal drug.

But the real question is not, which is worse... alcohol or drugs? The question is whether we can accept both legalized alcohol and legalized drugs. Legalized alcohol currently leads to 100,000 deaths/year and costs $99 billion/year. Legalize marijuana, then what follows...?  Is this argument SOUND or TWISTED?

3. Legalizing drugs will reduce social costs.  "We are losing the war on drugs,” say drug legalization proponents, "so let's cut the costs of drug enforcement by decriminalizing drugs.”

Currently the U.S. spends $11 billion/year to combat drug-related crime.  If drugs were made legal, some crime-fighting costs might drop but many social costs would certainly increase: other forms of crime (to support habits), drug-related accidents, and welfare costs.

Statistics from states that have decriminalized marijuana demonstrate this concern. In California, within the first six months of decriminalization, arrests for driving under the influence of drugs rose 46 percent for adults and 71.4 percent for juveniles. The use of marijuana doubled in Alaska and Oregon when it was decriminalized in those states.

Crime would certainly increase. Justice Department figures show that approximately one-third of inmates used drugs prior to committing their crimes.  And juvenile crime would no doubt increase as well. A recent study published in the Journal of Drug Issues found a strong association between the severity of a crime and the type of substance used the more intoxicating the substance, the more serious the incident.  Meanwhile, worker and student productivity would decrease.

The Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) estimates that drug decriminalization will cost society more than alcohol and tobacco combined, perhaps $140-210 billion a year in lost productivity, healthcare costs and job-related accidents.

Government services would no doubt have to be expanded to pay for additional drug education and treatment for those addicted to legal drugs. And child protective services would no doubt have to expand to deal with child abuse. Patrick Murphy, a court-appointed lawyer for 31,000 abused and neglected children in Chicago, says that more than 80 percent of the cases of physical and sexual abuse of children now involve drugs. Legalizing of marijuana will not reduce these crimes, it would make the problem much worse.

Is it even accurate to say we are losing the war on drugs?  Drug use in this country was on the decline in the 1980s due to a strong anti-drug campaign. Casual cocaine use, for example, dropped from 12 million in 1985 to 6 million by 1991. You don't win a war by surrender. Legalizing marijuana in this country would constitute surrender in the drug war at a time when we have substantial evidence we can win this battle on a number of fronts. Is this argument SOUND or TWISTED?

4. Government should not dictate moral policy on drugs.  Libertarians who promote drug legalization value personal freedom. They believe that government should not dictate morals and fear that our civil liberties may be threatened by a tougher policy against drugs.

The true threat to our freedoms comes from the drug cartels in foreign countries, drug lords in this country, and drug dealers in our streets. Legalizing marijuana would send the wrong message to society. Those involved in drug use eventually see that drugs ultimately lead to prison or death, so they begin to seek help.

Obviously some people are going to use drugs whether they are legal or illegal. Keeping drugs illegal maintains criminal sanctions that persuade most people their life is best lived without drugs. Legalization, on the other hand, removes the incentive to stay away from drugs and increases drug use.

William Bennett has said, "I didn't have to become drug czar to be opposed to legalized marijuana. As Secretary of Education I realized that, given the state of American education, the last thing we needed was a policy that made widely available a substance that impairs memory, concentration, and attention span. Why in God's name foster the use of a drug that makes you stupid?"  Is this argument SOUND or TWISTED?

It’s up to every peace loving American to voice our concerns loudly... against decriminalization and legalization of marijuana.  The change starts with weed, but where will it end?

Over the years we have witnessed a slow but progressive change in what is acceptable to society. “The social norms” have become more and more open and less and less restrictive, especially among our young people. Provocative dress, x-rated lyrics, computer porn, disrespect for parents and elders, teenage pregnancy, underage drinking and even recreational use of drugs like marijuana and the growing epidemic of heroin have become more and more acceptable.  

This behavior is often ignored because it’s easier to just “go with the flow” than to put up a fight. We have allowed this to happen by our inattention and complacency and as a result our children have accepted these views as well. The problem here is our children and other young people will inherit this country and will assume positions of power in our federal, state and local government and will soon be the law and policy makers who shape the future of our nation.

Winning this battle starts at home, around the dinner table in conversation with your teens about the dangers of drugs of any type.  And yes, the Church must take a strong leadership position in opposition to any form of legalization.  Parents... you need to be deeply involved in your kids lives.  Maybe that means learning to say “no” more than you say “yes” to their peer-pressure driven queries voiced in questions like... “what’s better alcohol or marijuana?”   

Teens know they can get their parents to agree to most anything if they just ask, ask, and ask repeatedly. They say that parents will eventually give in to their demands with very little fight. Proponents of marijuana legalization are experts at using this same type of tactic. They will ask and ask, argue, and push until our legislators and the general public give in, little by little they get what they want, slowly but surely, if we let it happen. 

I know for some readers, quoting Scripture at this point might turn you off... but I’m going to do it anyway.  God has an adversary... Satan the Devil.  The Devil could care less for the welfare of humanity.  He only seeks to hurt and destroy, he is on a scorched earth campaign to ruin everything and everyone before God finally puts an end to the misery he has brought to humanity.  God’s Word has warned us about the “real” power behind these things that man seeks to do in the name of improving society...

1 Peter 5:8 says… Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.   James 4:7 says… Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

The argument and reasoning offered by the Oklahoma State Senator in this articles introduction is ridiculous!  Yes, everything God created is good, and that includes hemp or marijuana. That said,  all these good things can be turned into evil purpose influenced by those who either misuse, misquote or are outright ignorant of God’s Word.  Poisonous mushrooms are good for breaking down dead wood, but bad for eating. Hemp is good for making rope, but bad for smoking and ingesting... for the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking [and smoking pot], but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. (Romans 14:17)