Are You a Cantankerous Diotrephes…?

I’m going to talk about cantankerous Christians in this message.  Who are they?  Like you don’t know!   We’ve all known one, or two or more and most of us have been one at various times and maybe didn't even now.  Quite often we don’t even realize how we are acting or the impact of our behavior on others.  So how do you get along with cantankerous Christians? The answer is... it’s not easy. Cantankerous Christians can be both different and difficult to live with.

In most churches there will be lots of diversity among people. We are old and young,  financially responsible and not-so-responsible with money, from distant places, from different religious backgrounds, and embracing a variety of views, from conservative to liberal, on the socio-political issues of the day. God’s Church is kind of like that ice cream franchise... church members come in at least 32 flavors and the flavors change weekly.  So, how about the “flavor of cantankerous?”

Let’s start with a dictionary definition of Cantankerous:  bad-tempered, argumentative, and uncooperative; quarrelsome; disagreeable.

Now for a Biblical perspective on cantankerous.... in the book of Third John, we read a story of three Christians - Gaius, who John commended; Diotrephes, who John saw as cantankerous; and Demetrius, who John cited as being consistent and steady in His walk with Christ. (3 John 1:1–1:14)

John does not mince words, he calls out “Diotrephes to be a kind of cantankerous Christian. (vs. 9-10)  Diotrephes seems to have been this kind of person. John says, based on Diotrephes attitudes and behavior, it was obvious that he was a man who was full of himself.

Consider this... the most unhappy people you will ever know are those who make themselves the center of attention, the focus of everyone around them.  It doesn’t take much effort to learn to be miserable in life.  It doesn’t even require much practice to develop the skills of misery and it seems everyone we know who is unhappy manifests some or all of the following attributes of misery... here’s a short list:

(1) Think about yourself.  (2) Talk about yourself.  (3) Mirror yourself continually in the opinions of others.  (4) Listen greedily to what other people say about you.  (5) Expect to be appreciated.  (6) Be suspicious.  (7) Be jealous and envious.  (8) Be sensitive to slights.  (9) Never forgive a criticism.  (10) Trust nobody but yourself.  (11) Insist on consideration and respect.  (12) Demand agreement with your own views on everything.  (13) Sulk if people are not grateful to you for service you have rendered.  (14) Shirk your duties if you can. (15) Do as little as possible for others.

Seeing ourselves as the center of the universe always leads to misery, because we weren’t made to be the focus of our own attention. Neither were we designed to be the center of everyone else’s attention. When we insist on that, guess what? We make everyone around us miserable. Because Diotrephes was unhappy, he was intent on making everyone around him unhappy, too. There is only one person who is meant to be the constant focus of our attention.  “You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!” - Isaiah 26:3 (NLT)  That be Jesus, the Christ.

Too many Christians tend to live with God at the periphery of their lives and with themselves at the center of their personally defined universe. True peace, and lasting happiness is found, however, when the Lord is at the center of our lives. Only then will everything else be in proper orbit around the Lord... friends, family, marriage, career, and yourself.

John speaks about the activity and approach of Diostrephes in verse 10...  So when I come, I will call attention to what he is doing, spreading malicious nonsense about us. Not satisfied with that, he even refuses to welcome other believers. He also stops those who want to do so and puts them out of the church.

Someone once said these wise words when commenting on the state of a foolish person... “Wise men know more than they tell; while foolish men tell more than they know.” 

Diotrephes was foolish. He is an example of the pseudo-intellectual, who, according to Dwight D. Eisenhower, “Is someone who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows.”

Diotrephes liked to pass himself off as one who knew “the scoop” on what was going on in the church or should be going on in the church, but he really didn’t have a clue. But because he thought so much of himself, he was determined to not let not knowing the facts keep him from being heard. After all, he was sure everyone wanted to hear his opinion!

Diotrephes’ approach to work in the church was to battle until he got his way. Diotrephes was the kind of guy who always found something wrong with the leadership in the church and could never get along with the leadership of the church, nor with anyone who supported them. 

Consequently, he was always “stirring things up.” He was a fellow who could be pretty well described by the comment that H.B. London made concerning Cain, “Cain had a problem with God, but he took it out on his brother.”

John shares his assessment of Diotrephes in verse 11... Dear friend, do not imitate what is evil but what is good. Anyone who does what is good is from God. Anyone who does what is evil has not seen God.

John gives good advice on how to stop a lot of conflict within the church. John’s counsel is to avoid people like Diotrephes and not imitate their example. Too often, the Diotrephes–types among us are rewarded when we give them more attention than they deserve. Instead, Paul echoes John’s counsel and tells us to disciple the Diotrephes among us through avoiding them.

“I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them.” - Romans 16:17 (NIV)

Conflict is part of life - even church life. A healthy church is not one where no conflict exists. Fact is, a church that is growing and being used by God will face conflict because things will be changing as a result of growth and “walking in-step with the Spirit”. So conflict is always going to be part of church life, even in the best case scenario.

The question is not will we face conflict, but how will we handle conflict? If God is the center of our attention, then our question in any situation will always be, “What does God want?” But if we are at the center of our attention, we will demand that everyone else make us the center of their attention and our question in any given situation will be “What do I want?”

This is where the advice John gives regarding Diotrephes is of such great value. If anyone in the church is expressing thoughts, ideas, or opinions that are obviously God centered or God serving - members of the church must encourage them by giving them attention and appreciating their contribution. However, if someone in the church is expressing thoughts, ideas, or opinions that are obviously self centered or self serving - members of the church must discipline them by not giving them attention. Rather, we must avoid them until they realize the error of their focus.

Demetrius, unlike Diotrephes was a consistent Christian, as John noted in verse 12... Demetrius is well spoken of by everyone—and even by the truth itself. We also speak well of him, and you know that our testimony is true.

Demetrius, it would seem, was the kind of Christian, who, unlike Diotrephes, sought to build up, rather than tear down, who sought to maintain God at the center of his life, as opposed to making himself central to the churches mission. Consequently, John says three things about this God centered believer. (1) He was well thought of by the ones around him - verse 12a  (2)  He was well thought of by the ones beside him - verse 12c  (2) He was well thought of by the One above him - verse 12b.

There are basically two types of Christians: We are either Spiritual or Carnal; Contributors or Detractors; Workers or Whiners; Positive or Negative; Helpers or Hinderers; God-Centered or Self-Centered; we are either Demetrius–types or we are Diotrephes–types.

On a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being Demetrius and 1 being Diotrephes), where would you think you are? Where would others say you are? Where does God say you are?

If you please God, it doesn’t matter who you displease; but if you displease God, it doesn’t matter who you please.

Genuine Spiritual Transformation...

The point of Bible study is not simply to gather knowledge. It should produce change through the living, active Word of God.  The study of God’s Word should help us to savor Scripture as a precious morsel and allow it to ask questions of us, rather than we simply asking questions of it.  That’s good advice... hear the Word of God, let it touch your heart and set you up for change, instead of wasting valuable time challenging and questioning everything you read.

Open–hearted Bible study should position us to listen to Jesus' words as if they are being targeted directly at us and consider what His counsel means for our lives. In other words, it should help us to avoid making God in our own image and let Him make us in his. That's what turns an ordinary Bible study into a life-changing one.  This is the process God has put in place that leads us to Transformation... being changed by Him for honorable use in His Kingdom.  Transformation must be our goal... by His Spirit, not of ourselves.

When the Apostle Paul writes about being "morphed" in Romans 12:2, he gives a command, but in a passive voice. He doesn't say, "Transform yourself"; he says, "Be transformed." We can't make transformation happen ourselves; it is something God does to us. Special conditions must exist to make such transformation possible.  So what then is our role in it — personally and in our churches?

1 Corinthians 9:25 says, "Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever." Here is the reason many people give up on transformation or accept boundary markers as pseudo-transformation: we expend ourselves trying to be transformed, when the Bible calls us “to train” to be transformed.

There is an enormous difference between trying to do something versus training to do it. Take for example a marathon. How many of us could run a marathon right now?  Even if we tried, really, really hard?  But many of us could run a marathon eventually, if we trained properly for it.

While I cannot speak Russian, no matter how hard I try, I could be transformed into a fluent Russian-speaker with proper training. I'll need to pass my eyes before a new alphabet over and over. I'll need to recite with my mouth and with my mind a new vocabulary. I’ll need to hear the language spoken by those who are fluent in Russian.  I’ll need to hear the tonal inflections of words to properly master pronunciation.  Eventually, the training will allow me to become a new speaker of a new language.

Training means arranging life around those activities that enable us to do what we cannot do now, even by extreme effort. Significant human transformation always involves training, not just trying.

Too often in our churches, people hear preachers talk about what an amazing person Jesus is. Certainly that is true, but they leave thinking, I've got to try hard to be like Him. We're unwittingly setting them up for frustration. When the trying proves ineffective, they eventually quit or rely on external trivialities to mimic a sense of being transformed.

Authentic spiritual transformation begins with training, with sacrifice, commitment and discipline.  Our teacher is the indwelling Holy Spirit.   As we submit ourselves to the Holy Spirit, for training in godliness, we begin to overcome our sinful patterns of behavior.  

The purpose of that discipline is always freedom—training only comes by disciplining oneself to be free of the obstacles that hinder spiritual transformation. 

The Lord's True and Faithful Church

"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.  But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.   Matthew 7: 13-14 NIV

The one church that Christ purchased with His own blood belongs to Him and the name it wears must honor Him. We read in Romans 16:16, "The churches of Christ greet you." This name glorifies and honors Christ, the one who built it.

Other names honor and glorify John the Baptist, Martin Luther, the day of Pentecost, the apostles, Rome, Antioch, Nazareth, the Greeks, the Russians, the methodical way of doing things, Christians, the free will, being primitive, southern, missionary, general, the seventh day, science, catholic, the advent, and the list goes on and on. Even by their names they do not claim to be Christ's one true and faithful church. Why can’t we give the glory and honor to God and Christ where all honor rightfully belongs?

Today we hear the sincere but mistaken plea to "attend the church of your choice." Why not attend the church of God’s choice, the Christian Church, the only one that Jesus "purchased with His own blood" (Acts 20:28). Christ did not shed His blood to purchase any denomination nor did He purchase a group of denominations.  The word denomination means a fraction or part of a whole.  The Lord's church is not a fraction or a part of anything.  It is complete within itself. 

Any church claiming to be the only church Jesus bought with His own blood should be able to prove from the Bible they are that church of the Bible. Can the church of which you are a member prove that it is the one and only church the Lord built, which is the true beacon for His followers? 

If the church you attend can’t defend from scripture its origin, then you will be laboring in vain if you stay in it. This may sound harsh. I say this with sincerity and sadness, but it will really be harsh if you are lost for all eternity. We must wake up, because the church where we fellowship and claim membership ultimately affects the welfare of our souls and where we will spend eternity. 

People too long have ignored what the Lord has said in the Bible and have blindly followed men and their religious traditions.

In order to be in the one church the Lord established, those added to it by the Lord, must be saved according to His requirements. In Acts 2:47 we read, "And the Lord added to the church daily those who were being saved." The Lord only adds the saved to His church. There are no unsaved people in His church. We are not saved just because we think or feel in our hearts we are. We are saved only when we have done exactly what God has said we must do. Jesus says in Matthew 7:21, "Not everyone who says to Me Lord, Lord shall enter into the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father which is in heaven." We must submit to God’s will, not man’s will, to be part of His family, His Church, His body… to go to heaven.

According to the Bible, who are the saved? Jesus is quite clear as to who the saved are. Jesus says in Mark l6:16, "He that believes and is baptized shall be saved." (also see Acts 2:38) A person has to have help to misunderstand what the Lord is saying here. The Bible says we must believe and be baptized in order to be saved. This is what Jesus commands. But men have tried to change what the Lord has said. Men say that one does not have to be baptized, to be saved. Who are you going to follow men or Christ?  Jesus says in John 12:48, "The word that I have spoken will judge him in the last day."  We are not going to be judged by what denominational leaders and preachers say, but we will account for our religious choices to Jesus.

Peter tells us in 1 Peter 3:21... "This water symbolizes baptism that now save you also..." Only when we have obeyed the Lord’s command to be baptized will we be saved. The Bible will be the only standard of judgment on Judgment Day, and not what we think or what men have said over the centuries resulting in doctrinal distortion. Are you placing your trust and confidence in what men say or what God has said in the Bible?  Who you are following… God, or the creeds and distortions of men?

Also, in order to be part of the Church which Jesus built, the Church must worship God and Christ according to the way They have specified. We are told in Ephesians 5:17, "Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is." It is very unwise not to find out and understand what the will of the Lord is from the Bible.  Many people are not finding out for themselves but are relying on someone else to tell them. All you have to do is look around and see all of the differing doctrines that are being taught in all the different churches claiming to be Christian. Are they understanding and following the will of God? Absolutely not. If they were, there would only be but “One Church”, which Christ established, the church of His followers, and it would only be known by His name, Christian(s) Church. 

What a pitiful condition the religious world is in, one of which people should be ashamed.

If you are not worshipping God and Christ the way They have specified in the Bible, then your worship is vain. Our Lord says in Mark 7:7, "And in vain they worship Me, teaching as doctrines the commandments of men." Have you been following the commandments of men and only some of what God says in the Bible?   

If you have, then your worship is vain. Jesus says in Matthew 28:20, "Teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you." We must observe all things and only the things the Lord has commanded us to follow. Is your church and worship on track?  Think and pray about these thoughts and seek "Truth" and you will find it!  (John 8:32)

The Dangers within the New and Improved Church

When it comes to today’s Church... who is following who?  Is the Church following Jesus... or has the contemporary church movement so radically impacted both the church and culture, that Jesus is expected to tag along with the Church?  

Methods (doing church) have certainly changed... Walk into many churches today and you hear rock music, you see people wearing jeans and flip flops, and gazing at big video screens displaying everything from video skits, visual props, light shows and the occasional scripture.   Messages focus on contemporary and cultural issues... sex, success and decision making and a host of other life-improvement topics.  The concepts seem to be working id you measure success by the numbers.  A whole generation of boomers and busters are now trying church and finding that the contemporary style and themes meet their needs and brings them closer to God.  Or so they think.

It’s true.. traditional churches are struggling with declining numbers, while contemporary churches are rapidly growing.

What about Truth?  I am talking about God’s unvarnished untainted Truth as revealed in His Holy Word the Bible.  Is that message part of today’s contemporary fast growing Church? How about discussions of sin?  The consequences of sinful living? What about repentance and redemption?  The return of Christ and the coming judgement?   Last time I checked, “His Truths” were not so popular with boomers or busters or anyone caught up in worldly pleasures and pursuits.  

We are living in a critical time of church history. The Bible, God’s Word, is undergoing revisions, that are bringing about divisions in His Church.  The Truth of God’s Word is being compromised, watered-down or outright ignored so as not to offend anyone. Ecumenical and heretical teachings are being endorsed for the cause of unity and church growth. The gospel of Jesus Christ is being disguised as “contemporary” to make it less offensive and more acceptable to the masses who think some form of church involvement is a good thing... but not a place where they want to be confronted with who they really are... sinners in the eyes of God.

The contemporary Church movement has been a designed strategy for more than 35 years, and its worked to draw people to a place to be entertained, but not to life-transforming truth.  Now, even churches that once taught Biblical Truth faithfully verse by verse, preparing the flock for the imminent return of Jesus Christ, are looking for ways to make their services more seeker-friendly and are less concerned about the prophetic signs we are living in the last of the last days.  This trend is not just in America, but worldwide.

Preachers, leaders and churches that once believed church growth was dependent on feeding the sheep and equipping the saved to share the gospel with the lost, now promote humanistic means to draw in the masses based on a consumer style of evangelism focused on “finding out what people want” to “get them in the door.”

Churches once led by ministers committed to Biblical Truth, are now employing experts who use worldly principles borrowed from secular corporations with material goals to bring about success. Rather than following Jesus and His Word, church leaders are looking to successful men and their methods so they can become part of a movement that is based on principles foreign to the sacred Scriptures.

Furthermore, when church leaders promote strategies to enhance the Kingdom of God here on earth by human effort, when concerned believers warn about the dangers, they are labeled as divisive ones. 

Bible believing preachers that once taught the Bible are now looking for ways to attract people to their congregations by providing extra-biblical experiences and an atmosphere that includes candles, icons, incense and the introduction of Roman Catholic practices with the sacraments. When concerned observers suggest this appears to be leading to a partnership with Roman Catholicism they are considered to be negative opponents of the “new thing” God is doing that is reaching our generation.

It is apparent to many faithful adherents of pure Biblical teaching, that we are at another crossroads in church history, a fork in the road. So what does the future hold?  Are preachers and elders going to stand up and make their voices known if they have concerns about the direction current trends are leading? While some say, don’t be negative – just be known for what you believe, not what you are against – perhaps it is time to reread what the Old Testament prophets said. When followers of God stray from the Truths of God, they are never to feel comfortable.

If we truly believe that Jesus may return soon, what position should we take?  Should we be promoting methods of church growth that produce big congregations with shallow believers who are asleep when Jesus returns?  Shouldn’t leaders be sounding the trumpet and warning of His imminent return?  The risk... people will leave a church that teaches truth, promotes urgency and  cleaves to the Bible alone as the guide and standard for holy living.  

This is a time when church leaders –– preacher, elder and teacher must make decisions regarding the direction they are going to go. It is a time to proclaim God’s Word, His Truth, with boldness. 

REMEMBER what Paul said to young Timothy as he was being prepared to take the reigns of Church leadership.  The words must have rattled Timothy to his core, but they also strengthen and emboldened him to persevere in preaching and teaching nothing but Truth. Here’s those jarring words Paul passed onto his young protégée as recorded at 2 Timothy 3:1–5...

...mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy,  without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God--  having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them. They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over weak-willed women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires, always learning but never able to acknowledge the truth.  Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so also these men oppose the truth--men of depraved minds, who, as far as the faith is concerned, are rejected.  But they will not get very far because, as in the case of those men, their folly will be clear to everyone.

Now is not the time to be compromising and appealing to the easy feel good methods of preaching the gospel.  GOD HAS NOT CHANGED!  His wrath against those who have perverted His Church awaits.  Jesus is coming... sooner than you might think!