Living a God–Centered balanced Life

The idea of achieving work/life balance is a modern-day knockoff of the American Dream, rooted in the minds of ambitious yet overworked professionals who want to “have it all” – work and play, career and family.  

I don’t believe there is such a thing as “work/life balance.” You don’t hear people talking about finding a “family/life balance” or an “eating/life balance.” 

In today’s fast-paced go-go world, work usually takes priority over the rest.  Why?  Because work is what we spend the majority of our day doing, it financially supports our dreams, and it’s a core part of our identities (the first “small talk” question people usually ask is what you do for a living).  Add mobile technology to our career-driven lives, and work priorities now have the potential to take over our personal lives. When this happens, you are putting your relationships, mental and physical health, and overall happiness at risk.

The key to contented living is to walk the middle ground between extremes.  In Parenting, we are trying to walk the balance between being too strict or too permissive. In Finances, we are working at avoiding the extreme of hoarding on one hand and indulgence on the other. In our Personal Lives, we’ve got to find the balance between ambition and contentment. We need to strive to do better, but we also need to discover contentment with what we have.

The Fourth Commandment reads... “Remember the day of worship by observing it as a holy day.” (Exodus 20:8). Obviously, to God there is to be a balance between work and our worship of Him.  But as we read Scripture we also see that we are to spend time with our family, to take care of our bodies, to rest. To keep the proper tension between work and the rest of life is a very complex problem in today’s world. How can a modern worker give the proper amount of attention to a career and at the same time not neglect family, the church and personal time?

Start by identifying your particular perspective on work, family, church and personal time. Stack-rank them in order of importance and priority... this exercise will help you acknowledge whether you have extremes or you’re close to a balanced life.

Some people are driven by career and personal pursuit of success.  That would be the extreme on the achievement side of a spectrum.  Many today, for many reasons, are prone to underachieving, doing as little as possible to earn a living and provide for their family. The extreme of laziness.

Ecclesiastes 10:18 says of such people... "If someone is lazy, the roof will begin to fall. If his idleness continues, the house will leak". In other words, laziness produces a poor end result from inactivity and lack of attention to circumstances and environment.

The Bible has some harsh words for the lazy. 1 Timothy 5:8 says..."If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." The book of Proverbs has all kinds of admonishment against laziness. It says a lazy person sleeps in instead of doing what he should. "As a door turns back and forth on its hinges, so the lazy person turns over in bed" (Proverbs 26: 14). Proverbs 22:13 says... "The lazy person is full of excuses, saying, ‘If I go outside, I might meet a lion in the street and be killed!’" He rationalizes his inactivity. I can’t work today, the pollen count is too high. It’s Monday, people don’t buy on Monday. It’s Friday, people are knocking off early on Friday. Everything in God’s creation, from the ant to the human being, has a function and is supposed to work.  But the lazy person spends his energy finding ways to avoid that [God mandated] responsibility.  Okay, you’re not a lazy person.  But are you a workaholic?  

The workaholic gives an inordinate amount of time and energy to a career.  Jesus gave an excellent example of a workaholic in Luke 12:16 – “A rich man had a fertile farm that produced fine crops. In fact, his barns were full to overflowing… But instead of enjoying that success that God had given him, what did he do? He said, ‘I know! I’ll tear down my barns and build bigger ones. Then I’ll have room enough to store everything…’”  Jesus was not saying that we should never prepare financially for the future, but He was making the point that this man’s things were his future! He was so wrong. “But God said to him, ‘You fool! You will die this very night. Then who will get it all?’" (Luke 12:20).

The workaholic becomes obsessed with achieving. Such people convince themselves that they’re doing it for tomorrow, saving and storing for the proverbial “rainy day.”. Such career-driven folks easily rationalize that there’ll be a day in the future when he’ll be able to relax and enjoy his family and get his spiritual life together. But somehow that day never comes. Where the lazy person produces a poor result, a useless faith and contention, a workaholic produces greed, selfishness and a false sense of security. They think they’ll always have enough time to turn things around; they count success in dollars and cents and yet have no sense. For they have put their security in temporary things. Jesus says that’s foolish, because you don’t know the future and the things you have can’t be taken with you - "Yes, a person is a fool to store up earthly wealth but not have a rich relationship with God." (Luke 12:21).

We’ve traded the good for the best. It’s not bad in the eyes of God to have nice things or to work hard. But we’ve become so caught up in giving our time to the job that we have, in our stress and worry, neglected the best things – our relationships. 

In Luke 10:38-41 Jesus says something to a woman named Martha that we need to hear. "As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a village where a woman named Martha welcomed them into her home. Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. But Martha was worrying over the big dinner she was preparing…...” But listen to what Jesus says to her.."My dear Martha, you are so upset over all these details!" What had Mary chosen? She had chosen to sit at the feet of Christ. 

Might not Jesus have been just as pleased with a bologna sandwich that took three minutes as He might be with a four course meal that took three hours? There is something better than our career, than getting our "to do" list accomplished... and that’s knowing Jesus. In her business, Martha forgot what was really important.

There is also the pursuit of stuff, material things.  Materialism contributes to becoming workaholic.  You work more to get more to buy more.   Like the rich farmer, we get caught up in the "I want" syndrome. We aren’t satisfied with anything ordinary; we’ve got to have a lot of whatever we desire and it’s got to be the best. And to get it, we’ve got to work harder and longer. There’s also the “keeping up with the Jones” where upper-middle class suburbia keeps score by the number of cars in the driveway, the luxurious vacations, big boats and so forth.  You’ve heard the expression... “he who dies with the most toys wins...” maybe so, but you’re still dead!  For many people, peer acknowledgement and prestige matters more than anything else.

Another stumbling block is escape, where the only real satisfaction in life is found at work. But the time is only part of the problem. People hung up on career achievement give their primary emotional energy to their work. We give our best efforts to work, and then our family and our faith get the emotional leftovers.

The philosophy of this age says, Success at work equals success at life. But that is so far removed from what God calls success. The world evaluates our success in life by status symbols. God evaluates our success in life by spiritual depth and by balance, neither lazy nor a workaholic.

If your life is out of balance, how do you get re-balanced? Here’s a short list of practical strategies that may help you.

Recognize that it is God’s desire that you live a balanced life. The fourth commandment in Exodus 20 instructs us to work. But it also commands us to rest. Why did God say to rest at least one day a week? Because He knows how we are constructed. He knows in the long run we’ll be more productive and effective if we have balance, if we have a change of pace. When you take time off, you’re not disobeying God – you are living life His way, by His design and in His desire.

Schedule a personal appointment with your family. You get the necessary things done at work probably because, for the most part, you’ve scheduled it. You know what time you’re supposed to be there, what time your deadlines are due, when your appointments are. One of the real secrets in living the balanced life as God has planned is to schedule the other areas of life too. 1 Timothy 5:8 says that if you neglect your family you are worse than an unbeliever!  At least once a month, choose a Saturday or an evening and make a "family night" out of that time. Have devotions together, play a game together, eat supper by candlelight and don’t answer the phone... any phone, text, messages, emails, etc. etc. . Make it a time where just your family is together. Put your kids’ ball games and activities in your calendar. Pick one other night or Saturday a month and make that a "date night" where you and your spouse get out of the house without the kids. Do it! We budget our money; why shouldn’t we budget our time as well?

Cultivate an interest outside of your work. Some people say, "Well, my work is my hobby, I don’t really need anything else." It is good if you enjoy what you’re doing, but all of us need some diversion, something that gets our minds off the job. Proverbs 14:30 says, "A relaxed attitude lengthens a man’s life." There’s an old Indian proverb that would agree with that. It says, "You will break the bow if you keep it always bent.” I hear people say, "I’m too busy to play tennis, no time for crafts." I believe people who say that are busier than Jesus. He often took time away, to relax and to renew His mind. Develop something where you can find fulfillment – painting, gardening, sports, hunting, fishing, hiking, browsing antique shops... you decide what works for you.

We must keep reminding ourselves of the “one thing” that is the most important. Remember what Jesus said to Martha? “There is really only one thing worth being concerned about.” It was knowing Him. As it says so succinctly in Matthew 6:33... “Our heavenly Father already knows perfectly well what you need, and he will give it to you if you give him first place in your life." So we can say, “Sunday is God’s, along with a regularly scheduled quiet time with Him. That is going to take priority.” That’s the best tangible way to put Him first. For many, Sunday can be a work day. So, make sure you still have a time with God on that day. A time when you are learning about Him, a time when you are talking to Him. 

Is God important to you?  Your actions will declare your true heart and attitude towards Him. Many folks use excuses like... “I’m too tired to go to church, Sunday is my only day to get all my errands done...” seriously, God just wasn’t important enough for such people to be in church. We know all the excuses, because we’ve all used them. The plain hard cold fact is that the other things are more important... than honoring God with your worship.

But it’s not just about going to church. Jesus is to be first all week too. When we study Jesus’ life we see Him scheduling daily time to be with God. Every day we are saturated with worldly values of materialism, prestige, popularity, or power. But Jesus said, "No one can serve two masters, either you will hate the one and love the other or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other.” (Luke 16:13). 

I suspect that we have made our lives a whole lot more complicated than God intended. In the end, it’s not so much a matter of our schedules or the demands of our jobs... it is a matter of our hearts. When our heart is in the right position then everything else falls into place. That’s why Jesus said, "Wherever your treasure is, there your heart and thoughts will also be.” (Luke 12:34). 

So, where are yours?

A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.--Oscar Wilde

The most painful and hurtful thing you can do to someone doesn't necessarily involve deception; it usually involves telling the truth.  Hearing the truth can hurt. We admit it jestingly, but the old axiom has more meaning than most people want to acknowledge. When the truth hurts, one must choose either to endure pain or avoid truth... a distressing choice. The result? "The truth is heavy, therefore its bearers are few."

We are happier and feel closer to our friends and family when we do not have to acknowledge our persistent failures.  Don’t remind me of what I already know, but have chosen to bury deep within my psyche. If it stays buried, I can go on with my life as if the problems never existed.  I can create a fantasy world where all is well and nothing troubles me. I use self–deception as a "social lubricant" for it safely separates me from the realities I cannot face.  If you irritate my psyche by reminding me of my deeply buried shortcomings... it will cause me to confront painful and hurtful truths.

Few of us want to see ourselves as truth-avoiders, yet quite often people let themselves believe that truth is only relative. People who believe truth is only relative can only be "relatively truthful” with themselves and others. Many would never steal, lie, or cheat, but being truthful is not merely saying or doing truth in a particular circumstance. Being truthful also involves what a person thinks, feels and does in life.  Real truth involves choices, decisions, attitudes, consequences and outcomes.  If ones choices are not so good, they will string together like an unbearable heavy chain that entangles every aspect of one’s life. 

Genuinely truthful people make mistakes all the time.  They sin, they get off track spiritually. However, they are deeply rooted in truth, standing on truth, growing in truth and truth is the fruit of their being. They have truth in their "inner parts" (Psalm 51:6). To remain truthful, they must continually measure not only their actions, but their attitudes against that holy standard.  Rather than deceiving one’s self, they are constantly looking in the mirror, self-evaluating, self-appraising  and measuring against the only meaningful standard for life... The Word of God.  In light of His Word such people will readily acknowledge shortcomings and weaknesses and seek His perspective and counsel on how to fix whatever is fixable. 

When does truth hurt? Truth confronts us with that which we do not want to know... do not want to acknowledge and do not want to accept. For example:  Truth hurts when it requires us to stop doing what we want to do, or requires us to start doing what we don't want to do. It cuts through excuses and requires us either to do what is right…or sacrifice our view of ourselves as someone who is not doing what they know they should. Some avoid that choice by blurring the line between what is true and what isn't. Our world has become so full of blurry lines that many people don't realize that reality is not actually ambiguous by nature.

Truth is painful when it focuses on our own responsibilities and shortcomings instead of allowing us to focus on everyone else's. It emphasizes our own need to change and grow. In the midst of conflict, we like to believe that we are right, that we are innocent and that our suffering is the result of someone else's insensitivity. But truth causes us to see ourselves as helpless as we truly are. All of us are sometimes wrong, sometimes guilty and sometimes we use our emotions, words, and even our actions to manipulate or hurt others. It is painful to see ourselves as we are—so much so that some people try very hard to avoid it.

Yet when truth is painful, or requires something a person does not want to accept, they often act as though it is somehow negotiable, or worse, non-existent.  We are daily bombarded with media and much of what we see and hear does not encourage the need to make sacrifices for the sake of truth. Our consumer society preaches a loud, much more agreeable message: "Enjoy as much pleasure and avoid as much pain as possible." Whereas few would admit to embracing such standards, many make choices as though they do, especially as regards the pain aspect. But unfortunately, in order to block, dull or control pain caused by wrong choices and behavior, people must inhibit their ability to perceive truth.

While most people will avoid truth at times, few see avoidance of truth as lying to themselves. We learn to tame our lies so we can live with them. To tame a lie requires that deep down, we must recognize that we have "winked" at the truth. Yet we do choose to perceive things in a certain way that may seem necessary for the happiness of all concerned. Some people try to tame lies by diluting the truth. But as the old saying goes... "Half the truth is still a whole lie."

Most people value honesty.  No one wants to be lied to. Everyone appreciates kindness. Sometimes, though, honesty and kindness collide. That happens when telling the truth would be hurtful... dredging up someone’s shortcomings buried deep in their psyche.  Now the conundrum... being “kind” usually involves telling a lie. How do we negotiate this clash of noble intentions?

God is truth. He is honesty. When we tell the truth, we conduct our words as God wants us to communicate. When we don't tell the truth by lying, [withholding bits of critical information], we go against what God expects of us. Often people lie, or water–down reality because they are concerned about getting in trouble or hurting someone’s feelings.  We must also understand the potential dilemma and the risk... we can blow our integrity with God, and that can be just as damaging to us as our words might be to someone desperately needing to hear truth. Perhaps for a Christian, a Biblical definition of lying could be summed up in this statement... Any time our word does not agree with God’s Word.

We lose our integrity when we lie, both in the eyes of God and in the eyes of those around us. Lying diminishes our relationship with God, as it decreases trust. When it becomes easy to lie, often times in pursuit of peace, we are heading down a path of self–deception, which can be just as dangerous as withholding truth from others. When we start trusting this flawed view often as a strategy to not hurt someone, we start justifying the sinful and harmful actions of others. Lying is a pathway to a long, slow walk away from God... for you and the person who needs your help.

Think about how the world would be different if no one lied…ever. At first it's a scary thought. After all, if we didn't lie people would get hurt, right? After all, you might hurt your relationship with your best friend by telling him or her they’ve missed the mark. Not being able to lie teaches us the importance of tact in our relationships and reminds us the importance of being prepared to “bear with one another” through difficulties that may arise when someone is forced to face an uncomfortable truth by our words of counsel. (Colossians 3:13; Ephesians 4:2,32)

Lying to gloss over and ease the pains of someone’s shortcomings is very damaging. Christians feel a need to be perfect and when they’re not, they feel the need to cover up their shortcomings. To hide what they’ve done or hide the fact that they’re still not the person they wanted or hoped to be. Christians feel this pressure because admitting any weakness or shortcoming calls into doubt all one’s good qualities.  We create shadow lives that shine on the outside, but are crumbling on the inside.

Our ungodly world conditions us to do whatever is necessary to "save face" or "protect someone's feelings."  Yet, as Christians, we have to learn to overcome the temptation to varnish over obvious shortcomings in our fellow Christians.  It can be frustrating at times. Fear is often the biggest emotion we must overcome when we face the desire to alter reality to protect someone’s feelings. Yet we must always keep it in our hearts and minds that there is a way to tell the truth that is good. We cannot allow ourselves to give in to our weaknesses and say something that is not truth. 

Accept that telling the truth will sometimes hurt. Just because you tell someone the truth doesn't mean it will always be accepted with open arms. Some people may be hurt by what you have to say. It happens. 

In the end, though, most people will appreciate the honesty rather than the lies. Anyone who hates you for being truthful probably has issues with what's going on in the first place and doesn't want to be confronted with the truth at the moment. Yet the fear of someone not wanting to hear the truth should never stop us from telling it. Sometimes God uses us to highlight wrongs and shortcomings in other people's lives.  

Okay... having said all this, let’s return to Paul’s question to the Galatians in chapter 4 verse 16... the title of today’s message.... “Have I now become your enemy by telling you the truth?” 

There are those who will sing the praises of a preacher, a shepherd, a teacher, as he says things with which they agree. Let that same preacher, shepherd or teacher say something that is challenging or even outright contradictory of these individuals’ wants, behavior or lifestyles, and you will most certainly witness a abrupt change in their attitudes. 

The preacher, shepherd or teacher is now a meddling–insensitive–uncaring–unkind jerk! He is no longer delivering God’s truth but instead is advancing his own opinion. Formerly, heaps of praise were tossed his way, now anger and animosity are hurled at him. The preacher, the shepherd and the teacher have not changed. His mindset toward those he is shepherding and teaching has not changed. The difference in this scenario... now people are hearing something that offends their reality and urges them to change, and change, even that which is clearly demanded by God, is most often met with combative resistance.

What changed in the relationship between Paul and the Galatian churches? Did he become mean-spirited and hateful toward them? No, he had the same love for them as he had previously had. What changed then? Was the change not in the hearts of those brethren who did not want to be told what to do? Was it not the case that they didn’t want anyone correcting them? Did they not want to just keep on going the way they wanted to go, doing and living as they wanted, regardless of the eternal direction it was taking them?  Questions we should all ponder in our walk with Christ.

It is required of Christians that we speak the truth in love to one another (Ephesians 4:15). Doing so involves reproving and rebuking (2 Timothy 4:2) which by the very nature of the words necessary for rebuke, do not convey the sentiments of love. It’s sad that our doing what God requires, will sometimes turns people against us, but we must not hesitate to tell the truth.

In like manner, we must be sure that we ourselves accept correction when it is evident from the Scriptures that our actions are not pleasing to God. We must turn to God’s Word to determine the validity of the correction and then humbly accept it.  

The fool and sinner hate a reprover. The righteous love faithful reproof (Ps 141:5; Pr 9:8).

Your Inner Being... how is it doing?

It’s the most fragile, deep and precious part of you. Yet resides in a place unknown. Everyone has one. Everyone needs one. It weighs nothing. But means everything. It’s a stream, giving strength, direction, and harmony to every other area of our life. It’s a direct connection, to nature, humanity, and God. It’s the soul. How well is yours?  Very good question, considering our eternal destiny depends on the condition of our soul.

The Bible is not perfectly clear as to the nature of the human soul. But from studying the way the word soul is used in Scripture, we can come to some conclusions. Simply stated, the human soul is the part of a person that is not physical. It is the part of every human being that lasts eternally after the body experiences death. Genesis 35:18 describes the death of Rachel, Jacob’s wife, saying she named her son “as her soul was departing.” From this we know that the soul is different from the body and that it continues to live after physical death.

The human soul is central to the personhood of a human being. As C. S. Lewis said, “You don’t have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.” In other words, personhood is not based on having a body. A soul is what is required. Repeatedly in the Bible, people are referred to as “souls” (Exodus 31:14; Proverbs 11:30), especially in contexts that focus on the value of human life and personhood or on the concept of a “whole being” (Psalm 16:9-10; Ezekiel 18:4; Acts 2:41; Revelation 18:13).

The human soul is distinct from the heart (Deuteronomy 26:16; 30:6) and the spirit (1 Thessalonians 5:23; Hebrews 4:12) and the mind (Matthew 22:37; Mark 12:30; Luke 10:27). The human soul is created by God (Jeremiah 38:16). It can be strong or unsteady (2 Peter 2:14); it can be lost or saved (James 1:21; Ezekiel 18:4). We know that the human soul needs atonement (Leviticus 17:11) and is the part of us that is purified and protected by the truth and the work of the Holy Spirit (1 Peter 1:22). Jesus is the great Shepherd of souls (1 Peter 2:25).

Matthew 11:29 tells us that we can turn to Jesus Christ to find rest for our souls. Psalm 16:9-10 is a Messianic psalm that allows us to see that Jesus also had a soul. David wrote, “Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure. For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol, or let your holy one see corruption.” This cannot be speaking of David as Paul points out in Acts 13:35-37 because David’s body did see corruption and decay when he died. But Jesus Christ’s body never saw corruption (He was resurrected), and His soul was not abandoned to Sheol. Jesus, as the Son of Man, has a soul.

There is often confusion about the human spirit vs. the human soul. In places, Scripture seems to use the terms interchangeably, but there might be a subtle difference. Otherwise, how could the Word of God penetrate “even to dividing soul and spirit” (Hebrews 4:12)? When the Bible talks about man’s spirit, it is usually speaking of an inner force which animates or motivates a person in one direction or another. It is repeatedly shown as a mover, a dynamic force (Numbers 14:24) within us.

It has been said that there are only two things that last: the Word of God (Mark 13:31) and the souls of men. This is because, like God’s Word, the soul is the imperishable part of us. That thought should be both sobering and awe-inspiring. 

Every person you meet is an eternal soul. Every human being who has ever lived has had a soul, and all of those souls are still in existence somewhere. The question is, where? The souls that reject God’s love are condemned to pay for their own sin, eternally, in hell (Romans 6:23). But the souls that accept their own sinfulness and God’s gracious gift of forgiveness will live forever beside still waters with their Shepherd, wanting for nothing (Psalm 23:2).

Again... how well is yours?

Are You a Cantankerous Diotrephes…?

I’m going to talk about cantankerous Christians in this message.  Who are they?  Like you don’t know!   We’ve all known one, or two or more and most of us have been one at various times and maybe didn't even now.  Quite often we don’t even realize how we are acting or the impact of our behavior on others.  So how do you get along with cantankerous Christians? The answer is... it’s not easy. Cantankerous Christians can be both different and difficult to live with.

In most churches there will be lots of diversity among people. We are old and young,  financially responsible and not-so-responsible with money, from distant places, from different religious backgrounds, and embracing a variety of views, from conservative to liberal, on the socio-political issues of the day. God’s Church is kind of like that ice cream franchise... church members come in at least 32 flavors and the flavors change weekly.  So, how about the “flavor of cantankerous?”

Let’s start with a dictionary definition of Cantankerous:  bad-tempered, argumentative, and uncooperative; quarrelsome; disagreeable.

Now for a Biblical perspective on cantankerous.... in the book of Third John, we read a story of three Christians - Gaius, who John commended; Diotrephes, who John saw as cantankerous; and Demetrius, who John cited as being consistent and steady in His walk with Christ. (3 John 1:1–1:14)

John does not mince words, he calls out “Diotrephes to be a kind of cantankerous Christian. (vs. 9-10)  Diotrephes seems to have been this kind of person. John says, based on Diotrephes attitudes and behavior, it was obvious that he was a man who was full of himself.

Consider this... the most unhappy people you will ever know are those who make themselves the center of attention, the focus of everyone around them.  It doesn’t take much effort to learn to be miserable in life.  It doesn’t even require much practice to develop the skills of misery and it seems everyone we know who is unhappy manifests some or all of the following attributes of misery... here’s a short list:

(1) Think about yourself.  (2) Talk about yourself.  (3) Mirror yourself continually in the opinions of others.  (4) Listen greedily to what other people say about you.  (5) Expect to be appreciated.  (6) Be suspicious.  (7) Be jealous and envious.  (8) Be sensitive to slights.  (9) Never forgive a criticism.  (10) Trust nobody but yourself.  (11) Insist on consideration and respect.  (12) Demand agreement with your own views on everything.  (13) Sulk if people are not grateful to you for service you have rendered.  (14) Shirk your duties if you can. (15) Do as little as possible for others.

Seeing ourselves as the center of the universe always leads to misery, because we weren’t made to be the focus of our own attention. Neither were we designed to be the center of everyone else’s attention. When we insist on that, guess what? We make everyone around us miserable. Because Diotrephes was unhappy, he was intent on making everyone around him unhappy, too. There is only one person who is meant to be the constant focus of our attention.  “You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!” - Isaiah 26:3 (NLT)  That be Jesus, the Christ.

Too many Christians tend to live with God at the periphery of their lives and with themselves at the center of their personally defined universe. True peace, and lasting happiness is found, however, when the Lord is at the center of our lives. Only then will everything else be in proper orbit around the Lord... friends, family, marriage, career, and yourself.

John speaks about the activity and approach of Diostrephes in verse 10...  So when I come, I will call attention to what he is doing, spreading malicious nonsense about us. Not satisfied with that, he even refuses to welcome other believers. He also stops those who want to do so and puts them out of the church.

Someone once said these wise words when commenting on the state of a foolish person... “Wise men know more than they tell; while foolish men tell more than they know.” 

Diotrephes was foolish. He is an example of the pseudo-intellectual, who, according to Dwight D. Eisenhower, “Is someone who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows.”

Diotrephes liked to pass himself off as one who knew “the scoop” on what was going on in the church or should be going on in the church, but he really didn’t have a clue. But because he thought so much of himself, he was determined to not let not knowing the facts keep him from being heard. After all, he was sure everyone wanted to hear his opinion!

Diotrephes’ approach to work in the church was to battle until he got his way. Diotrephes was the kind of guy who always found something wrong with the leadership in the church and could never get along with the leadership of the church, nor with anyone who supported them. 

Consequently, he was always “stirring things up.” He was a fellow who could be pretty well described by the comment that H.B. London made concerning Cain, “Cain had a problem with God, but he took it out on his brother.”

John shares his assessment of Diotrephes in verse 11... Dear friend, do not imitate what is evil but what is good. Anyone who does what is good is from God. Anyone who does what is evil has not seen God.

John gives good advice on how to stop a lot of conflict within the church. John’s counsel is to avoid people like Diotrephes and not imitate their example. Too often, the Diotrephes–types among us are rewarded when we give them more attention than they deserve. Instead, Paul echoes John’s counsel and tells us to disciple the Diotrephes among us through avoiding them.

“I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them.” - Romans 16:17 (NIV)

Conflict is part of life - even church life. A healthy church is not one where no conflict exists. Fact is, a church that is growing and being used by God will face conflict because things will be changing as a result of growth and “walking in-step with the Spirit”. So conflict is always going to be part of church life, even in the best case scenario.

The question is not will we face conflict, but how will we handle conflict? If God is the center of our attention, then our question in any situation will always be, “What does God want?” But if we are at the center of our attention, we will demand that everyone else make us the center of their attention and our question in any given situation will be “What do I want?”

This is where the advice John gives regarding Diotrephes is of such great value. If anyone in the church is expressing thoughts, ideas, or opinions that are obviously God centered or God serving - members of the church must encourage them by giving them attention and appreciating their contribution. However, if someone in the church is expressing thoughts, ideas, or opinions that are obviously self centered or self serving - members of the church must discipline them by not giving them attention. Rather, we must avoid them until they realize the error of their focus.

Demetrius, unlike Diotrephes was a consistent Christian, as John noted in verse 12... Demetrius is well spoken of by everyone—and even by the truth itself. We also speak well of him, and you know that our testimony is true.

Demetrius, it would seem, was the kind of Christian, who, unlike Diotrephes, sought to build up, rather than tear down, who sought to maintain God at the center of his life, as opposed to making himself central to the churches mission. Consequently, John says three things about this God centered believer. (1) He was well thought of by the ones around him - verse 12a  (2)  He was well thought of by the ones beside him - verse 12c  (2) He was well thought of by the One above him - verse 12b.

There are basically two types of Christians: We are either Spiritual or Carnal; Contributors or Detractors; Workers or Whiners; Positive or Negative; Helpers or Hinderers; God-Centered or Self-Centered; we are either Demetrius–types or we are Diotrephes–types.

On a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being Demetrius and 1 being Diotrephes), where would you think you are? Where would others say you are? Where does God say you are?

If you please God, it doesn’t matter who you displease; but if you displease God, it doesn’t matter who you please.

Genuine Spiritual Transformation...

The point of Bible study is not simply to gather knowledge. It should produce change through the living, active Word of God.  The study of God’s Word should help us to savor Scripture as a precious morsel and allow it to ask questions of us, rather than we simply asking questions of it.  That’s good advice... hear the Word of God, let it touch your heart and set you up for change, instead of wasting valuable time challenging and questioning everything you read.

Open–hearted Bible study should position us to listen to Jesus' words as if they are being targeted directly at us and consider what His counsel means for our lives. In other words, it should help us to avoid making God in our own image and let Him make us in his. That's what turns an ordinary Bible study into a life-changing one.  This is the process God has put in place that leads us to Transformation... being changed by Him for honorable use in His Kingdom.  Transformation must be our goal... by His Spirit, not of ourselves.

When the Apostle Paul writes about being "morphed" in Romans 12:2, he gives a command, but in a passive voice. He doesn't say, "Transform yourself"; he says, "Be transformed." We can't make transformation happen ourselves; it is something God does to us. Special conditions must exist to make such transformation possible.  So what then is our role in it — personally and in our churches?

1 Corinthians 9:25 says, "Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever." Here is the reason many people give up on transformation or accept boundary markers as pseudo-transformation: we expend ourselves trying to be transformed, when the Bible calls us “to train” to be transformed.

There is an enormous difference between trying to do something versus training to do it. Take for example a marathon. How many of us could run a marathon right now?  Even if we tried, really, really hard?  But many of us could run a marathon eventually, if we trained properly for it.

While I cannot speak Russian, no matter how hard I try, I could be transformed into a fluent Russian-speaker with proper training. I'll need to pass my eyes before a new alphabet over and over. I'll need to recite with my mouth and with my mind a new vocabulary. I’ll need to hear the language spoken by those who are fluent in Russian.  I’ll need to hear the tonal inflections of words to properly master pronunciation.  Eventually, the training will allow me to become a new speaker of a new language.

Training means arranging life around those activities that enable us to do what we cannot do now, even by extreme effort. Significant human transformation always involves training, not just trying.

Too often in our churches, people hear preachers talk about what an amazing person Jesus is. Certainly that is true, but they leave thinking, I've got to try hard to be like Him. We're unwittingly setting them up for frustration. When the trying proves ineffective, they eventually quit or rely on external trivialities to mimic a sense of being transformed.

Authentic spiritual transformation begins with training, with sacrifice, commitment and discipline.  Our teacher is the indwelling Holy Spirit.   As we submit ourselves to the Holy Spirit, for training in godliness, we begin to overcome our sinful patterns of behavior.  

The purpose of that discipline is always freedom—training only comes by disciplining oneself to be free of the obstacles that hinder spiritual transformation. 

The Lord's True and Faithful Church

"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.  But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.   Matthew 7: 13-14 NIV

The one church that Christ purchased with His own blood belongs to Him and the name it wears must honor Him. We read in Romans 16:16, "The churches of Christ greet you." This name glorifies and honors Christ, the one who built it.

Other names honor and glorify John the Baptist, Martin Luther, the day of Pentecost, the apostles, Rome, Antioch, Nazareth, the Greeks, the Russians, the methodical way of doing things, Christians, the free will, being primitive, southern, missionary, general, the seventh day, science, catholic, the advent, and the list goes on and on. Even by their names they do not claim to be Christ's one true and faithful church. Why can’t we give the glory and honor to God and Christ where all honor rightfully belongs?

Today we hear the sincere but mistaken plea to "attend the church of your choice." Why not attend the church of God’s choice, the Christian Church, the only one that Jesus "purchased with His own blood" (Acts 20:28). Christ did not shed His blood to purchase any denomination nor did He purchase a group of denominations.  The word denomination means a fraction or part of a whole.  The Lord's church is not a fraction or a part of anything.  It is complete within itself. 

Any church claiming to be the only church Jesus bought with His own blood should be able to prove from the Bible they are that church of the Bible. Can the church of which you are a member prove that it is the one and only church the Lord built, which is the true beacon for His followers? 

If the church you attend can’t defend from scripture its origin, then you will be laboring in vain if you stay in it. This may sound harsh. I say this with sincerity and sadness, but it will really be harsh if you are lost for all eternity. We must wake up, because the church where we fellowship and claim membership ultimately affects the welfare of our souls and where we will spend eternity. 

People too long have ignored what the Lord has said in the Bible and have blindly followed men and their religious traditions.

In order to be in the one church the Lord established, those added to it by the Lord, must be saved according to His requirements. In Acts 2:47 we read, "And the Lord added to the church daily those who were being saved." The Lord only adds the saved to His church. There are no unsaved people in His church. We are not saved just because we think or feel in our hearts we are. We are saved only when we have done exactly what God has said we must do. Jesus says in Matthew 7:21, "Not everyone who says to Me Lord, Lord shall enter into the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father which is in heaven." We must submit to God’s will, not man’s will, to be part of His family, His Church, His body… to go to heaven.

According to the Bible, who are the saved? Jesus is quite clear as to who the saved are. Jesus says in Mark l6:16, "He that believes and is baptized shall be saved." (also see Acts 2:38) A person has to have help to misunderstand what the Lord is saying here. The Bible says we must believe and be baptized in order to be saved. This is what Jesus commands. But men have tried to change what the Lord has said. Men say that one does not have to be baptized, to be saved. Who are you going to follow men or Christ?  Jesus says in John 12:48, "The word that I have spoken will judge him in the last day."  We are not going to be judged by what denominational leaders and preachers say, but we will account for our religious choices to Jesus.

Peter tells us in 1 Peter 3:21... "This water symbolizes baptism that now save you also..." Only when we have obeyed the Lord’s command to be baptized will we be saved. The Bible will be the only standard of judgment on Judgment Day, and not what we think or what men have said over the centuries resulting in doctrinal distortion. Are you placing your trust and confidence in what men say or what God has said in the Bible?  Who you are following… God, or the creeds and distortions of men?

Also, in order to be part of the Church which Jesus built, the Church must worship God and Christ according to the way They have specified. We are told in Ephesians 5:17, "Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is." It is very unwise not to find out and understand what the will of the Lord is from the Bible.  Many people are not finding out for themselves but are relying on someone else to tell them. All you have to do is look around and see all of the differing doctrines that are being taught in all the different churches claiming to be Christian. Are they understanding and following the will of God? Absolutely not. If they were, there would only be but “One Church”, which Christ established, the church of His followers, and it would only be known by His name, Christian(s) Church. 

What a pitiful condition the religious world is in, one of which people should be ashamed.

If you are not worshipping God and Christ the way They have specified in the Bible, then your worship is vain. Our Lord says in Mark 7:7, "And in vain they worship Me, teaching as doctrines the commandments of men." Have you been following the commandments of men and only some of what God says in the Bible?   

If you have, then your worship is vain. Jesus says in Matthew 28:20, "Teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you." We must observe all things and only the things the Lord has commanded us to follow. Is your church and worship on track?  Think and pray about these thoughts and seek "Truth" and you will find it!  (John 8:32)

The Dangers within the New and Improved Church

When it comes to today’s Church... who is following who?  Is the Church following Jesus... or has the contemporary church movement so radically impacted both the church and culture, that Jesus is expected to tag along with the Church?  

Methods (doing church) have certainly changed... Walk into many churches today and you hear rock music, you see people wearing jeans and flip flops, and gazing at big video screens displaying everything from video skits, visual props, light shows and the occasional scripture.   Messages focus on contemporary and cultural issues... sex, success and decision making and a host of other life-improvement topics.  The concepts seem to be working id you measure success by the numbers.  A whole generation of boomers and busters are now trying church and finding that the contemporary style and themes meet their needs and brings them closer to God.  Or so they think.

It’s true.. traditional churches are struggling with declining numbers, while contemporary churches are rapidly growing.

What about Truth?  I am talking about God’s unvarnished untainted Truth as revealed in His Holy Word the Bible.  Is that message part of today’s contemporary fast growing Church? How about discussions of sin?  The consequences of sinful living? What about repentance and redemption?  The return of Christ and the coming judgement?   Last time I checked, “His Truths” were not so popular with boomers or busters or anyone caught up in worldly pleasures and pursuits.  

We are living in a critical time of church history. The Bible, God’s Word, is undergoing revisions, that are bringing about divisions in His Church.  The Truth of God’s Word is being compromised, watered-down or outright ignored so as not to offend anyone. Ecumenical and heretical teachings are being endorsed for the cause of unity and church growth. The gospel of Jesus Christ is being disguised as “contemporary” to make it less offensive and more acceptable to the masses who think some form of church involvement is a good thing... but not a place where they want to be confronted with who they really are... sinners in the eyes of God.

The contemporary Church movement has been a designed strategy for more than 35 years, and its worked to draw people to a place to be entertained, but not to life-transforming truth.  Now, even churches that once taught Biblical Truth faithfully verse by verse, preparing the flock for the imminent return of Jesus Christ, are looking for ways to make their services more seeker-friendly and are less concerned about the prophetic signs we are living in the last of the last days.  This trend is not just in America, but worldwide.

Preachers, leaders and churches that once believed church growth was dependent on feeding the sheep and equipping the saved to share the gospel with the lost, now promote humanistic means to draw in the masses based on a consumer style of evangelism focused on “finding out what people want” to “get them in the door.”

Churches once led by ministers committed to Biblical Truth, are now employing experts who use worldly principles borrowed from secular corporations with material goals to bring about success. Rather than following Jesus and His Word, church leaders are looking to successful men and their methods so they can become part of a movement that is based on principles foreign to the sacred Scriptures.

Furthermore, when church leaders promote strategies to enhance the Kingdom of God here on earth by human effort, when concerned believers warn about the dangers, they are labeled as divisive ones. 

Bible believing preachers that once taught the Bible are now looking for ways to attract people to their congregations by providing extra-biblical experiences and an atmosphere that includes candles, icons, incense and the introduction of Roman Catholic practices with the sacraments. When concerned observers suggest this appears to be leading to a partnership with Roman Catholicism they are considered to be negative opponents of the “new thing” God is doing that is reaching our generation.

It is apparent to many faithful adherents of pure Biblical teaching, that we are at another crossroads in church history, a fork in the road. So what does the future hold?  Are preachers and elders going to stand up and make their voices known if they have concerns about the direction current trends are leading? While some say, don’t be negative – just be known for what you believe, not what you are against – perhaps it is time to reread what the Old Testament prophets said. When followers of God stray from the Truths of God, they are never to feel comfortable.

If we truly believe that Jesus may return soon, what position should we take?  Should we be promoting methods of church growth that produce big congregations with shallow believers who are asleep when Jesus returns?  Shouldn’t leaders be sounding the trumpet and warning of His imminent return?  The risk... people will leave a church that teaches truth, promotes urgency and  cleaves to the Bible alone as the guide and standard for holy living.  

This is a time when church leaders –– preacher, elder and teacher must make decisions regarding the direction they are going to go. It is a time to proclaim God’s Word, His Truth, with boldness. 

REMEMBER what Paul said to young Timothy as he was being prepared to take the reigns of Church leadership.  The words must have rattled Timothy to his core, but they also strengthen and emboldened him to persevere in preaching and teaching nothing but Truth. Here’s those jarring words Paul passed onto his young protégée as recorded at 2 Timothy 3:1–5...

...mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy,  without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God--  having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them. They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over weak-willed women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires, always learning but never able to acknowledge the truth.  Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so also these men oppose the truth--men of depraved minds, who, as far as the faith is concerned, are rejected.  But they will not get very far because, as in the case of those men, their folly will be clear to everyone.

Now is not the time to be compromising and appealing to the easy feel good methods of preaching the gospel.  GOD HAS NOT CHANGED!  His wrath against those who have perverted His Church awaits.  Jesus is coming... sooner than you might think!